So, I am back in lockdown mode. No, no, I’m not in Mumbai, I refused Gauri’s invitation the minute it arrived. Just not worth the risk, beta. But I am in lockdown because our Dilli is no better. I am seeing new COVID cases come up every day! Whyyyyyyyy? We were in such a good place, bachche. I could finally go to my favourite rooftop restaurant and enjoy the feeling of looking rich in public. I had all my outfits and sunglasses planned for the next 20 weekends. But no, the world had other plans and we’re back to wondering kahaan kahaan case hai, who met whom, how many people went to Goa and Maldives, and what night curfew will mean for all the weddings!
Yet, people are not staying home. Why, bachche? WHY? I get if you have to go to work or be out in an emergency, but is a Holi party really an emergency?
Because I really couldn’t understand it and also because your uncle insisted that I get both sides of the story as a responsible journalist, I asked you young lot why people are not staying home in this ghastly second/third/fourth/ninetieth wave? And here are some of the responses I got from you.
They think getting vaccinated = being immortal
Immortal ka toh pata nahi, but getting vaccinated is super important. Of course, I am not in the age group yet, you know. I’m young like you hehe. If you have been vaccinated, that is awesome for you. HOWEVER (big word of the day), please stay at home and wear a mask outside. And wear it properly! We Dilliwalas were very diligent with pollution masks over our noses and mouths, so I know you know how to wear a face mask.
Literally done with COVID, feel so trapped and just can’t breathe
You’re done with COVID, but COVID isn’t done with you yet, bachche. I know you feel trapped, the whole world does. Well, except those lucky asses in Australia and New Zealand. As for the breathing, you’re just feeling like you can’t breathe. But if you get COVID, then you literally may not breathe. So please, bachche, keep your imaginary ghutan locked up in a cupboard and enjoy the view from your window.
But my best friend was getting married! I had to go
No one knows the pain of missing weddings like your dear Aunty Eve. But even I missed so many! Even my cousin’s daughter’s husband’s niece’s wedding! Such a close rishta but I didn’t go and the family understood. If this was your best friend, bachche, they would not have exposed you to COVID like this. Tell me, how many people told you to remove your mask because “yahaan toh sab gharwale hain, beta”?
Aunty, religion is very important. There are so many festivals right now!
Your dear Aunty Eve is super cool but she is also spiritual. I didn’t attend a single satsang in 2020 and even now, I won’t. I don’t think COVID is scared of god like us humans. It still attacks, bachche. I know, it’s shocking! So, no. Religion does not count as an excuse.
They are idiots
No no no no. Bad word, beta. They are Covidiots. Be cool, like me.
For the sake of your dear Aunty Eve, all your other uncles and aunties, and everyone else around you, STAY HOME.