We celebrated International Women’s Day just a couple of days ago, and in keeping with tradition, numerous brands released campaigns and ads saying women are superheroes and wonder women and they can do everything in the world. But I don’t want to be Wonder Woman. I just want to be my usual, exhausted, lazy self.
A couple of weeks ago, Prega News came out with a #SheCanCarryBoth campaign where a very pregnant teacher who was supposed to go on maternity leave decided to cancel her leave to help a few of her failing students. It’s all well and good, but it begs the question, why should a woman carry both? Why does the responsibility of doing everything in life fall on the woman? As well-intentioned as the message was, ads like these are like water off a duck’s back for me. They perpetuate the age-old traditions of women being the caretakers and housekeepers, with the additional caveat of now earning money as well.
Another campaign that made the rounds was My Scented Chronicles – Everyday with Eze Perfumes. The ad features Mili Jhaveri, an influencer who is also a mother. As she talks about her day and her different roles, she mentions how, at home, she is a mom of two, “working hard but never complaining”.
While it is great that she doesn’t complain about all the work she has to put in, it does seem to subtly shame the women who do complain.
Reliance General Insurance ran a Women’s Day campaign called #AajNahiRozHi, which talks about how a woman should be celebrated daily, and not just on Women’s Day. Great thought, but it continues to celebrate the fact that a woman is always on duty taking care of the household, her kids, the family finances, and work. The ad ends with a voiceover “kaarnaame toh who har roz karti hai, toh use celebrate kijiye, aaj nahi roz hi.”
Why does she need to do all these kaarnaame every day? And why do you want to celebrate her unpaid labour instead of talking about the unfair workload on her?
Five years ago, HDFC Bank released an ad “Celebrating Superheroes Called Women”, which, of course, included a female boss with a female and male colleague deciding what campaign to run for Women’s Day. When the man talks about all the trouble women have to go through once they become mothers, especially in the workforce, the boss talks about how she is a superwoman for her child because she can perfectly handle both work and home. Again, the onus of balancing between the house and work is put on the woman.
If we had a choice, no woman would want to be this kind of “superwoman”. I don’t want to work 8-hour days in the office and come back home to cook, clean, and take care of the household. Listen, boo, I am tired enough as it is, I don’t need to add to my list of chores and get even more exhausted.
All I want is to be myself. I want to wake up at 7 am, make myself a cup of green tea, have an easy breakfast, and go to work. When I come back home exhausted, I want to just lie in bed for half an hour before I make myself a quick dinner and do the dishes. I want to be able to breathe. Even though I can multitask quite well, I don’t want to pile myself up with work, especially unpaid labour. And no, it doesn’t bring me any happiness. It makes me cranky, resentful, and pissed. I am not happy about making three fresh meals a day for a household of four to six people. I make myself two meals in a day and have them for the next two days, and I am quite happy doing it.
So, next time you want to describe the women in your life as superwomen, and use a thesaurus full of adjectives, DON’T. No woman wants to do it all. We just want to go through life as breezily as men.
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Related: Women’s Day Or Not, Here Are 7 Promises Every Woman Needs To Make To Herself