Most people have a sexual bucket list of things they want to try at least once. And studies have shown that a threesome is the most common sexual fantasy. While many would be excited to try it out, they might not know where to start. You might think that the words “let’s have a ménage à trois” will get you going. But you’ve gotten that wrong, honey! It takes some effort and lots of communication to ensure fun, laughter, and orgasms all around. Here are nine important things you need to keep in mind before your dip your toe into the threesome sex pool.

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1. Communicate, communicate, communicate

Communication is the first step to ensure that all parties involved get the best experience. Talk to your steady partner, talk to the person you are inviting into your relationship. And talk exhaustively! No matter how hard or embarrassing the conversation becomes, HAVE IT. Make your expectations and your boundaries clear. If there is something that is a no-go, make it clear. If you want to try something specific, communicate it. Basically, just talk about everything and make sure you stick to the defined boundaries.

2. Hang out with each other

Comfort is essential to have a good threesome sex experience. You need to make sure all parties involved feel at ease with each other so that when the clothes come off, there is no awkward standing around and staring at each other. Go on a date, have a few drinks, joke around with each other, and get the mood going.

3. Make sure your bed fits three

Now, this is a matter of common sense, but since it isn’t all that common, we are putting it out there. Don’t pile up on top of each other in a single bed. That’s just going to be uncomfortable. One person shouldn’t be just standing by the side of the bed with their hands on their hips, while the other two are revving up their engines. Get a bigger bed, or at least find an appropriate place that fits three.

4. You might be left hanging for a while

Now, there might come a point in your festivities where one person might feel ignored. If that happens, try to communicate and find a way to get yourself involved. Prior communication can help with this, but it is important to communicate even while you are having sex. Threesomes don’t always go according to the exact plan, so be ready for that.

5. Pack extra condoms

Make sure you have extra condoms handy. Using protection during sex is a no-brainer, but always have extra protection available. It is just safer. Even if you are using sex toys or you need to change condoms in between, it is a good idea to carry some extras with you. Unless you want to deal with accidents!

6. Don’t be afraid to experiment

A threesome gives you an opening to experiment with new things. Talk to each other and find out what works for all three of you. Try new sex positions, try new toys, try talking dirty. Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone and experiment with something new. Threesome sex is already new territory, why not go all the way and have lots of fun?

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7. Make sure pleasure is all around

In a threesome, it is important that all three people are pleasured. If it happens with two men and a woman, it should not just be the woman whose pleasures are being taken care of. If it’s two women and a man, it should not just be the man who gets off. It’s important to ensure that all three parties are satisfied. After all, orgasms are not just meant for one person.

8. Feelings could potentially change

Involving a third person in your relationship can potentially change things. Either you or your partner could catch feelings for the third. If that’s not a risk you are willing to take, it is best to avoid threesome sex. And if you are ready to risk it all, have a plan in place in case something like this happens.

9. Don’t expect your third to be a therapist or “fix”

If you are diving into the threesome pool because you are having problems in your relationship, you better not have one. Your third is not your therapist, and a threesome will not fix your relationship. Please don’t put that pressure on someone who is not part of your relationship. And if you go into this with expectations of fixing your relationship, it might just backfire and leave a sour taste in everybody’s mouth.

If you do it right, a threesome can be one of the wildest, most pleasurable experiences. And if you do it wrong, it will be disastrous all around. Don’t forget to take consent from all parties involved, be courteous, respectful, and ensure everyone has fun.

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