Going through a dry spell in your sex life is not uncommon. After being together for a long time, most couples come to a point when they mostly just lie in bed and watch TV together or read. That doesn’t mean you don’t find each other physically attractive anymore. It just means you’re tired and want to fall asleep at the end of a long day. However, it is possible that the lack of sexual activity in your relationship signals trouble. So, if you think you need to get out of your sexual rut, here’s how you can revive your sex life.

1. Talk to your partner

Talk to your partner about why your sex life is non-existent. Figure out the reason neither of you feels like having sex. Don’t go playing blame games. Instead, try to find a solution. Talk to your partner about why it is important for you to have sex. Talk about how you can get out of this sexual rut. Communicating with each other is an important step in reviving your sex life.

2. Kiss every day

That’s right. Give your partner a hello-goodbye kiss as you come and go each day. As you set out to go to work, kiss your partner goodbye. When you come back home, don’t forget to kiss them hello. This just shows your partner that you are still interested in physical intimacy and that you are present in the relationship.

3. Schedule sexy times

Yes, you heard that right. Go ahead, put an appointment for sex in your calendars. The entire point of setting aside some time for sex is to ensure you have dedicated time to get physical with your partner. Treat your sex appointments like your doctor’s appointments. Whether you end up having sex or not is not the point, what is important is that you get to be physically intimate with your partner even in other ways. So, scheduling sexy times is a good way to revive your sex life.

4. Forego the intercourse and focus on the rest

Sex is more than just penetration. Instead of going directly for a home run, why don’t you start with the bases? Build up the anticipation slowly and steadily, and over the course of a period of time. Spend some time on a languorous foreplay session. Make out regularly, cuddle together, take a relaxing bath together, or find a hobby to do together. Do things together that build intimacy rather than just focusing on the act of sex itself.

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5. Go back in time to when you just started dating

Focus on talking to each other about your dating days, progress to holding hands, and then a hug, and a kiss. Stay away from mentioning sex or touching any of your partner’s sexual organs. Instead, find the comfort of being together. Slowly build up the tension in your partner. As each day passes, your partner will be burning for your touch. Don’t give in at the first sight of weakness, take your sweet time to keep building the tension.

6. Dirty talk your way into a masturbating session

There is nothing as vulnerable in a sexual relationship as mutual masturbation. Dirty talk to your partner. Tell them in detail how you wish to touch them and how you want to be touched. All while you touch your respective bodies. As you tell your partner how you want to touch them, ask them to touch themselves in the same way.

7. Switch up the way you have sex

If you are used to having sex in the missionary position, or in your bedroom, try a different style or take it out of the bedroom. Make use of that wall and try a standing position, or empty your study table and go at it with full force right there. Having sex at the same place, in the same way, can feel quite mechanical and become boring. Experiment with new ways to pleasure your partner. It could be using a toy, trying out a new fantasy, a new position, or a new place.

8. Leave the devices aside

Everyone is so glued to their phones, laptops, or tablets these days that face-to-face conversations feel like a thing of the past. It is best to switch off all your devices and focus on your partner. Pay attention to what they are talking about, ask them questions, and let them know that you are interested in them.

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