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Home Culture & Entertainment

10 Tweets That Show The Hilarious Reality Of Marriage

Sukhmani Waraich by Sukhmani Waraich
September 10, 2018
5 min read
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Marriage is hard. If you find someone who disagrees with this, don’t believe them. They’re lying. As with everything else in the world, when things get tough in their marriages, people turn to humour. Funny marriage tweets are a phenomenon that has emerged from the hilarious reality of married life. Apart from being ridiculously funny, these tweets also keep us sane when the other occupant of the house (and the marriage) is intolerable.

We’ve compiled some of the funniest tweets on marriage from people who are still trying to navigate the twists and turns of this roller coaster. If you’re getting married soon, here are a few situations you’ll find yourself in.

 

1. When you really don’t want to do anymore chores

 

Marriage is just yelling “What?!” multiple times a day after your spouse says something from across the house every day until you die. #marriage

— Liz Lord (@mslizlord) September 2, 2018

 

2. When groceries become a competitive game

 

Let the record to show that the same person who says I buy “too much” toilet paper just brought home a FIVE POUND thing of honey. 🤨 #marriage pic.twitter.com/Bw1TRebcD8

— Nelba Márquez-Greene 🇵🇷 (@Nelba_MG) August 31, 2018

 

3. When your spouse’s mere existence is enough to irritate you

 

2008: can’t keep our hands off each other

2018: “Can you keep the other way? I can feel you breathing on me.”#marriage

— Lauren Byrne 🐝 (@Lauren_CBee) August 30, 2018

 

4. When you start sharing wardrobes

 

i wear my husband’s clothes more than my own. when he shops, he shops for both of us.#marriage in a nutshell.

— Jessica Friley (@iekikana) September 5, 2018

 

5. When love is all about keeping each other well-fed

 

Hubs *shamelessly beaming*
“I left you a love note!”

Me-“You left me a Post-It that says ‘I WANT OREOS.’ Putting a heart at the top doesn’t make it a love note.”#btr2sday#vss365#vss#amwriting#marriedlife#humor#Wifey#wifelife#humor#writing #wip#tuesline

— K Kibbee (@K_Kibbee) September 4, 2018

 

6. When groceries refuse to last the week but you’re too lazy to go shopping

 

Husband: The lettuce smells weird. I’m not taking it for lunch.
Wife: did you take it out of the fridge and smell it?
Husband: yes
Wife: why didn’t you throw it away?
Husband: I thought you might want it #marriedlife

— Elizabeth (@lizkchap13) August 31, 2018

 

7. When you’ve been told to show appreciation

 

I wanted to thank my amazing wife for buying shaving cream with a pic. I think she is going to be happy I’m using her gift… #Shaving #marriedlife #dedication pic.twitter.com/w9CxLPR7jZ

— James Dias (@jamesthedias) September 4, 2018

 

8. When you begin to know each other too well

 

So my husband and I just spent the past 10min slapping each others asses…we were timing to see how long the fat jiggles after each slap. Mine is 3seconds, his bony ass not even 1sec. Don’t tell me romance is dead. #MarriedLife #TrueDorks #SoulMates

— Alicia Pinkerton (@acakes421) September 3, 2018

 

9. When nothing can distract your spouse from their reading

 

Me: Matt take a picture with your wife

Matt: #marriedlife pic.twitter.com/1I7geZV9cw

— kayla (@kylcts) August 26, 2018

 

10. When the worst thoughts come to you at night

 

Lying awake at 4am wondering if rolling my husband over 52 times to stop snoring could count as my exercise for the day?

On an unrelated note:
Does anyone know why the divorce rate is so high? #tiredwife #needsleep #marriedlife

— Nikki Menne (@nikmenne) August 26, 2018

 

When you tweet about fights with your spouse, your problems seem so much lighter. So, the next time you argue over a wet towel, dirty dishes, or an open shampoo bottle, don’t get upset. Just tweet about it.

Rate this post
Tags: funny marriage tweetsfunny tweetshusband jokesmarriagemarriage jokesmarriage tweetsmarriedmarried lifemarried life jokeswife jokes

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Sukhmani Waraich

Sukhmani Waraich

Sukhmani found her calling when she lost more than a few friendships to her grammar nerd ways. She's a vehement feminist, admires people who work out regularly (can't imagine doing it herself), and has put her globetrotting on hold to earn a few bucks.

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