Once upon a time, Shah Rukh Khan said, “Pyaar dosti hai”. Well, he wasn’t entirely wrong, darlin’. No relationship is as strong as one that starts out with friendship. Why else do you think every romance author and moviemaker’s favourite trope is friends-to-lovers? There’s something absolutely delightful about turning from a friend to a lover. However, the entire process can be tricky and laden with doubts in reality. And Madam Eve is here to help you navigate these waters.
Before you think about how to make a friends-to-lovers relationship work, you first need to know if you are even turning the page towards that chapter. So, here are a few signs to look out for if you suspect you have moved beyond the friend zone.
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1. You spend a lot of time together
If earlier you would just talk to each other when you met, or maybe once a week or so, but suddenly you are talking every day, that’s a positive sign. Sure, friends do spend a lot of time together, they hang out, and text each other. But that generally doesn’t happen every day or even every week. So, if you find yourself spending a lot more time with your friend than usual, it’s not a bad idea to think of being something more.
2. There’s some heavy flirting
Poppet, I know some people are naturally quite flirty, even if they are not looking at you as a romantic partner. But that kind of flirtatiousness is generally limited to words. If you see your friend throwing out casual flirty touches, sending you flirty texts, and sending you clear signs of their romantic interest, relook at your friendship. If they say something like “it would be great to go on a romantic getaway with you” or something along the same lines, you know where their head is.
3. You are suddenly jealous
Jealousy is also part of friendship. And, my dear, I know this first hand. Your darling Madam Eve has also been jealous of her best friend spending more time with her other best friend. That’s not the kind of jealousy you should be taking into consideration. What you should be thinking about is if you get jealous when your friend flirts with someone else, goes out on a date, or even spends a lot of time talking to someone other than you. Being jealous is all well and good, but don’t let it get out of control.
4. You pay attention to your appearance when meeting them
A lot of people love dressing up while going out. But if you find yourself putting in a little extra effort just to meet your friend, do I even need to tell you that you are feeling the love? It could be wearing a perfume you know they like, wearing lipstick that makes your face pop or even wearing their favourite colour. And if you notice your friend has also been doing similar things, rest assured the romantic feelings are likely reciprocated.
5. There’s a difference in how you treat them and your other friends
If you are in a group of friends, you’ll be treating that one friend differently than the others. Because suddenly, you don’t just see them as a friend. You see them as something more. It could be touching them continuously, spending a few extra seconds when hugging them, getting them random gifts, or even spending a lot of time talking to just them. There will be a clear distinction between how you treat your other friends versus how you treat that one special friend.
6. You want to see them naked
Nobody wants to see their regular friends naked. So, if you find yourself fantasising about seeing your friend naked, you are far gone from the friend zone. Lust is a clear indication of desire and romantic interest, poppet. Don’t ignore it. When you are sexually attracted to someone, it will also show in your body language, not to mention the sexual tension in the air. And if you feel the energy being reciprocated, nothing like it.
7. They become a priority
People you love are always your priority, so if one friend has been bumped up the list, know that your feelings are no longer just friendly. You change your plans to fit them in, you make the extra effort for them, and you let them know they are a priority. You basically do everything humanly possible to let them know that they matter and that they have your time and attention.
8. You find ways to spend time alone together
Wanting to spend time alone with someone you are romantically interested in is not new. So, if you find yourself gravitating towards making time for your friend without anyone else in the picture, that’s a sign of romantic interest.
9. You wonder if it’s worth the risk
Anyone who has read enough romance novels knows that the one question people ask when they are trying to go from friends to lovers is, “Should I risk it? What if I ruin our friendship?” So, if you find yourself asking the same questions, congratulations, poppet. You are in love with your friend.
Now that you know you are head over heels for your friend, you need to know if it can work between the two of you. Two people may work amazingly well as friends but fail as lovers. Are you going to be one of them, darlin’? Let’s find out.
1. Know the risks
Turning a friendship into a romance comes with risk. They may not feel the same way about you, the behaviour you found cute in a friend could be annoying in a lover. And most importantly, you could lose your friendship. That’s the biggest risk you’ll face. So, know if your feelings are strong enough to risk your friendship.
2. Make sure both of you are into it
This is obvious but needs saying. You can’t pressure your friend into reciprocating your feelings or force them to accept your feelings. That’s not just wrong but also a sure-shot way to kill any kind of friendship you have. So, make sure you and your friend are on the same page. If only one of you is strongly in favour of turning the friendship into romance, it’ll just be a one-sided relationship and the doom of your friendship.
3. Take it slow
There’s no need to rush your relationship. You’ve already spent a lot of time together as friends, and you know a lot about each other, so there’s no hurry. Take your time going into the relationship. Spend time with them, get to know them even better, and deepen your emotional connection rather than rushing into a relationship.
4. Don’t become friends-with-benefits
If you really are very good friends, adding sex to the relationship without any romantic feelings is not going to work, darlin’. In an FWB, there’s always a risk of one person developing deeper feelings while the other doesn’t. While sex is fun in its own way, adding only sex to a friendship will take all the fun out of that relationship. Not everyone goes from friends-with-benefits to saat phere.
5. Retain the friendship in the romance
Even if you turn lovers, remember to keep the friendship alive. The better friends you are, the better couple you’ll make. Do the things you would do as friends, hang out, share things with each other, and keep things comfortable. And never stop being yourself.
6. Go on dates
Make an effort to go on romantic dates. While hanging out as friends is important, it is also important to go out on romantic dates. After all, you are not just friends, but also lovers. No need to make date nights sexy right at the beginning. Enjoy the romance and the delight of being together.
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