I’m very sorry you felt the need to open this link, bachche, but it is what it is. Best to cut your losses instead of living in resentment, I say. Your marriage is probably down in the dumps if you think your husband is cheating on you. But instead of overthinking this, we need to take action now. Here’s what you should do if you think your husband is having an affair. Dry your tears and make notes.

Take control of your finances

Pehli baat toh all women should have their own bank accounts apart from their joint accounts with the husband. But if you don’t, make one now. If you don’t have an income, put aside a little bit from the household expenditure and deposit it in your account. If you’re really smart, you’ll convince your husband somehow to give you a fat monthly amount for miscellanous expenses. The more vague your explanation, the easier it is to stash some funds for yourself.

Related: Every Woman Needs A ‘Fuck Off Fund’: Have You Made Yours Yet?

Get a job or a side hustle

If you have a well-paying job already, I’m very proud of you, beta ji. But if you don’t, you must start a side hustle. It’s not easy and you have to take out time after your full-time job to make an extra income. But in the long run, especially if you think your husband is cheating on you, you will appreciate the money. And if you don’t have a job, start looking actively. Make your CV. Put in some time every day to learn new and relevant skills. Speak to friends, relatives, former colleagues, friends of friends, whoever you need to contact to get a job. Aadmi pe dependent hona achchi baat nahi hai, whether he’s a cheater or a saint.

Move your valuables to your parents’ house

Or to a trusted friend’s or sibling’s house. Don’t keep your valuables in your husband’s reach if you’re going to either leave him or tell him to get out. This includes your jewellery (all of it, including what your in-laws gave you), your documents, your expensive bags, clothes, and shoes, and anything else that holds value for you. Don’t make it too obvious. Have a cover story in place before doing this. Like, you need to get your jewellery cleaned and your mom has a trusted jeweller who will do this for free, your dad needs your documents for his will, or your sister wants to borrow a bag for a wedding and needs to see them all.

Make note of everything you paid for in the house

If you’re one of those dono-mil-ke-ghar-banayenge types, you need to note down what you paid for and how much. It’s even better if you’ve kept all the bills to prove your ownership. Make sure all your stuff goes with you if you’re leaving the house. And make sure it stays if you make your husband leave and he’s trying to steal more than what he’s already taken from you.

Confide in a trusted friend or sibling

Your confidant should be someone who is willing to stay quiet while you make your plan. They should not fly off the handle when they see your husband or start behaving awkwardly with him. If this happens, he will know something is wrong. Chor ko hamesha apni chori pakde jaane ka darr hota hai. So he will be on high alert for these things especially if he thinks you suspect something. But do find someone to confide in because someone who is on your side should know what’s going on.

Consult a lawyer

Especially if you have kids because you need to know what to do about legal custody. You also need to know what is admissible proof and what is not, what you need to do as a wife to make your case strong, and what you can expect in terms of a financial settlement. While we can all ChatGPT and pretend to help, only a lawyer can actually be of any assistance here.

Move quietly

Whether it’s looking for a place for yourself or making the grounds for a divorce settlement that’s in your favour, you need to move quietly. No telling your colleagues, faaltu ke rishtedaar, or duur ke friends. No posting emo nonsense on your social media. And definitely not crying your eyes out taaki husband ko fresh, fresh sooji hui aankhein dikhein every morning.

Talk to him but…

Only if you have found nothing to prove he’s cheating on you. Otherwise, kaun muh lagaye aise nikamme ko? If you haven’t found anything against him, work on your marriage, bachche. It’s very difficult living a life of suspicion. Khatam karo ya improve karo.

What you should definitely NOT do

Stalk his suspected affair partner

Not on social media and definitely not in real life. Galti se kuchh like ho gaya ya usne dekh liya, toh alarm bells will go off for your husband. And that will be the end of your plan.

Think his family will be on your side

Na, beta ji, na. I have taught you better than to believe that your saas, sasur, nanad or dewar will be on your side. Bol sab dete hain that we will disown him if he does anything wrong, karta koi nahi hai. He is the son of the house. Woh murder bhi karde, phir bhi jaaydaad toh ussi ko milegi. Do not make any in-law your confidant, trust me.

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