You’re 27. Your college friends are buying apartments while you’re trying to choose between Chinese and biryani for dinner. Instagram is full of engagement rings and promotion announcements, and you’re wondering why you don’t feel like a proper grown-up yet. Here’s the relief you’ve been waiting for: you’re not supposed to have it figured out yet. Neuroscience has officially given us permission to stop pretending we have it all together in our 20s. Research shows that when you mentally become an adult isn’t aligned with any birthday milestone society throws at us. Your brain, that magnificent control centre running your entire life, doesn’t actually finish developing until you’re around 32 years old. Let that sink in while you breathe out all that quarter-life guilt.

The science behind late-blooming brains

A groundbreaking 2025 study published in Nature Communications analysed over 4,200 brain scans from people aged 0 to 90 and found something remarkable. Around age 32, your brain experiences what researchers call “the strongest topological turning point” of your entire lifespan.

Dr Alexa Mousley, the lead researcher from the University of Cambridge, explains that brain development continues in an extended adolescent phase from age 9 all the way to 32. At 32, the brain undergoes its most dramatic shift in wiring and trajectory, more significant than any other age milestone, including puberty or old age. This isn’t just about one brain region. The research identified five distinct life stages based on how your brain’s connections evolve: early development (birth to age 9), extended adolescence (ages 9 to 32), early adulthood (ages 32 to 46), late adulthood (ages 46 to 70), and older adulthood (age 70 onwards).

Your twenties fall squarely into the “extended adolescence” category, which means, neurologically speaking, you’re still in a developmental phase that doesn’t conclude until your early thirties. The prefrontal cortex, your brain’s CEO responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and rational thinking, is fashionably late to the maturity party. While the rest of your brain develops relatively quickly, this crucial region takes its sweet time, continuing to form new connections well into your third decade. Think of your twenties as the beta testing phase. You’re operational, sure, but still working out the bugs.

What emerging adulthood actually means

Psychologist Jeffrey Arnett coined the term “emerging adulthood” to describe the period between 18 and 29, a distinct life stage that didn’t exist for previous generations. It’s characterised by identity exploration, instability, self-focus, feeling in-between, and endless possibilities.

For Indian millennials and Gen Z, this phase collides spectacularly with traditional expectations. Society hands you a script: graduate by 22, job by 23, married by 26, kids by 29. Meanwhile, your prefrontal cortex is still under construction, trying to figure out who you are beyond what’s expected of you. The dissonance is real, and it’s not your fault.

Why your 20s feel like chaos

Your twenties are supposed to be messy. Brain development aside, this decade is about trial and error, not having all the answers. The pressure to appear fully formed at 25 is a social construct, not a biological reality. 

Consider what’s actually happening in your brain during this time. You’re learning to regulate emotions without parental safety nets, making financial decisions with real consequences, navigating complex relationships, and building career foundations in an economy vastly different from the one your parents entered. All while your brain’s decision-making headquarters is still in la la land.

Extended neuroplasticity means you have more time to adapt, learn, and change direction without it being a crisis. Your twenties are your permission slip to explore, fail, pivot, and try again. The career you choose at 23 doesn’t have to be your forever career. The relationship that doesn’t work out isn’t a failure; it’s data collection. 

People who embrace emerging adulthood rather than rushing through it often make better long-term decisions. They choose partners more compatible with who they’re becoming, not who they were at 22. They build careers aligned with their values, not just parental approval. They develop genuine self-awareness instead of performing a version of adulthood that doesn’t fit.

What actually makes you an adult

If turning 18, 21, or even 25 doesn’t make you a mental adult, what does? True adulthood isn’t about age. It’s about developing specific capacities: accepting responsibility for yourself, making independent decisions, and becoming financially independent. But here’s the thing, these don’t arrive on a birthday. They accumulate gradually through experience and, yes, brain development.

When you mentally become an adult is less about a specific age and more about acquiring emotional regulation, the ability to delay gratification, long-term planning skills, empathy and perspective-taking, and managing uncertainty without falling apart. Some people develop these at 28. Others at 35. A few exceptional humans manage it earlier. Many people coast into their forties still avoiding responsibility.

Permission to be a work in progress

Having said that, the research on brain development isn’t an excuse to avoid growth or responsibility. It’s about being gentler with yourself during a genuinely challenging life phase. Your twenties are not wasted if you’re not married, promoted, or perfectly settled. They’re not less valuable if you’re still figuring things out. You’re not falling behind, you’re developing at exactly the pace your brain is designed to develop. Give yourself the grace to be incomplete. The permission to change your mind. The freedom to not have everything figured out while your prefrontal cortex finishes its job.

Adulthood isn’t a destination you arrive at on your 18th birthday or even your 32nd. It’s a process, ongoing and imperfect, shaped by both biology and experience. And if science says your brain needs until your thirties to get there, why challenge it?

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Related: I Have Supportive Parents And That Has Turned Me Into A Lost Adult 

FAQs

Q1. At what age is your brain fully developed?

Research indicates the brain reaches full maturity between ages 25 and 32, with the prefrontal cortex being the last region to fully develop. 

Q2. Is it normal to feel lost in your 20s?

Absolutely. Your twenties fall within the “emerging adulthood” phase, characterised by identity exploration and instability. Combined with ongoing brain development, feeling uncertain during this decade is neurologically normal, not a personal failing.

Q3. Why do Indian parents expect you to settle down by 25 if the brain isn’t mature?

Traditional markers of adulthood (marriage, career establishment) are based on social structures, not biological development. Modern research is slowly shifting these perspectives.

Q4. Does delayed brain development mean you can’t make good decisions in your 20s?

Not at all. Your brain is functional and capable in your twenties, just not fully optimised. You can make excellent decisions during this time, but you may also be more prone to risk-taking and impulsive choices.

Q5. What’s the difference between legal adulthood and mental adulthood?

Legal adulthood (18 in India) is an arbitrary social marker for rights and responsibilities. Mental adulthood refers to when your brain achieves full neurological maturity, typically in your late twenties to early thirties, affecting judgement, emotional regulation, and decision-making capacity.