Relationships are hard, but rebuilding a broken relationship is harder. As much as being cheated on is the worst, being a cheater isn’t a walk in the park either. If you made that choice, chances are you regret cheating on your partner, or at the very least feel a little bad. Guilt is going to be your companion, darling. And infidelity is a choice, make no mistake, and this choice will bring you grief, disappointment, and pain. It might also have you questioning your morals. But if you are determined to move on from your transgression, it can be tough, but it is doable. So, here’s what you can do once you have cheated on your partner.

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Figure out the WHY

Before you deal with the repercussions of your infidelity, you need to figure out why you cheated. Was it because something was lacking in your relationship, were you bored, or did you just want an adrenaline boost? Figure out the reason. It could be serious or it could be something you think is stupid – whatever it may be, be honest with yourself.

To tell or not to tell

The biggest question after you cheat on your partner is whether or not to tell them. That’s entirely your choice whether you want to come clean with your partner or keep your infidelity a secret. Was it a one-off incident fuelled by alcohol or was it a long-standing affair? Make a list of pros and cons of why you should tell your partner and why you shouldn’t. In the end, only you can choose what’s best for the future of your relationship.

Ask for forgiveness, don’t demand it

If you do decide to come clean, ask your partner for forgiveness, but don’t demand it of them. Your actions will cause them pain, heartbreak, and distrust. They are entitled to those emotions, and it is completely up to your partner to choose whether or not you can be forgiven. You are not entitled to their forgiveness. All you can do is be sincere in your apology and hope they are willing to give you a second chance.

Be patient

An act like this is breaking the trust between two people. So, it’s obvious that your partner won’t trust you and your actions. Trust can’t be built back in a day, so, be patient as you work through rebuilding what’s broken. Be open with your partner about where you are going and who you are hanging out with, and give them space. Honesty and patience can go a long way in righting the wrong.

Make a decision

Cheating is a big deal in most relationships, and once that boundary is crossed, you need to decide whether or not you want to continue the relationship. Decide if you want to give your relationship a second chance or if you want to break up for good. This will also depend on why you cheated in the first place. If it was because of some major underlying issue in the relationship, ending things might be better. On the other hand, if it was a one-off incident that happened while you were intoxicated, there might still be hope.

Forgive yourself

Cheating on somebody you love takes a toll on you as well as your partner. You likely spend all your time feeling guilty and walking on eggshells. That’s not great for the long term. Take responsibility for your actions, but be a little forgiving of yourself as well. If your partner forgives you, great; but even if they don’t, try to forgive yourself. You can’t spend the rest of your life drowning in guilt.

Seek therapy

Getting over being cheated on or being the one who cheated is challenging. So, it is best to seek professional help to move forward, especially if you decide to give your relationship a second chance. Talk to a therapist about the issues in your relationship and address the reasons for your actions, be it in the relationship or within yourself. Be open and honest about your emotions and talking it out with a professional can help you salvage your relationship.

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