Fidelity lies at the core of a romantic relationship. It’s no news then that cheating sucks. It not only destroys the relationship but also breaks the trust and a person’s ability to trust others in the future. The pain of the breakup and the agony caused by cheating can destroy a person emotionally and mentally. While it is quite easy to say someone cheated if they had sex with another person or kissed someone else, it is not always possible to label an act as cheating if those acts are smaller in nature. When you toe the thin line between faithfulness and infidelity is when you are partaking in micro-cheating.
What is micro-cheating?
Micro-cheating usually falls under the spectrum of emotional cheating. Unlike physical cheating, these may not be as explicit, but the little acts carry with them a hint of unfaithfulness. Acts of micro-cheating may seem inconsequential, but over time, it erodes the trust in a relationship. These acts often have a negative impact on your relationship and may even pave the way for physical cheating.
The tricky part about micro-cheating is that it is often unintentional. Because a person is unaware that they are doing something wrong, it can lead to problems down the road. Most acts of micro-cheating start as harmless fun or an ego boost, but before you know it, it spirals out of control. If you feel that your partner will be uncomfortable if you share some of your actions with them, then you are most likely in the micro-cheating territory.
Signs of micro-cheating
1. Sending flirty texts to someone other than your partner
If you find yourself sending a flirty text to someone other than your partner, because it’s such a thrill, beware. You are micro-cheating. Similarly, if you go to an event and flirt with others irrespective of whether your partner is there or not, it’s a sign of micro-cheating.
2. Dressing up, especially for a person who is not your partner
Have you found yourself or your partner putting in a little extra time to get ready when meeting one particular person? It’s time to be a little cautious ‘coz you are going down a slippery slope.
3. Hiding a relationship from your partner
If you refuse to talk to your partner about that one “friend” you have, or you are saving their contact number under fake names so your partner doesn’t find out, it’s a definite sign of trouble. Ask yourself why you feel the need to hide this person from your partner. One of these relationships needs to end, and you need to figure out which one.
4. Keeping your profiles on dating apps
Now that you are in a committed relationship, there really is no need for you to keep your profile on dating apps. If your excuse is that you want to know if you can still get matches, well, that’s just a manipulative tactic.
5. Stalking your ex on social media
Some people believe in the concept of being friends with their exes. And that’s perfectly alright. But trouble starts when you keep stalking your ex on social media, keeping up with their day-to-day life, and leaving likes and comments on every single post. Constantly talking to your ex and reminiscing about the good old days is also a sign of micro-cheating.
6. Getting emotionally involved with someone else
Forming an intimate emotional relationship with someone other than your partner is a sure sign of micro-cheating. If you find yourself sharing details about your life with someone that you don’t share with your partner, you are sailing in stormy seas, my friend.
7. Discussing intimate details of your relationship with someone else
Venting to your friends and family when you have a fight with your partner is perfectly fine. But when those details are shared with an ex-flame or an attractive co-worker who has shown an interest in you, then it paints a not-so-rosy picture.
Related: 10 Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship And Need To Get Out Right Now
How to deal with micro-cheating
1. Set boundaries
It is important to set boundaries in any relationship. With your partner, establish what counts as cheating and what counts as micro-cheating. Have an honest conversation. It might be uncomfortable, but it’ll help your relationship in the long run.
2. Listen to your partner
If you find your partner micro-cheating, allow them to explain themselves. Ask them why they did what they did and don’t jump to conclusions. Listening to your partner ensures that you’ll find a reason for their actions. It’s also possible that they might have been unaware of what they were doing.
3. Talk about how their actions made you feel
Be open with your partner about how their actions affected you. Tell them how their actions were hurtful and why they were hurtful. Instead of putting all the blame on your partner, have a dialogue that allows both of you to share your views.
4. Actively rebuild trust
Any form of cheating, including micro-cheating, shakes the core of a relationship. Your trust might be dented, so try to find ways to repair the damage. Working on rebuilding trust gives your partner the confidence to make the relationship work.
5. Strengthen your relationship
Work on strengthening your relationship with your partner. Find out the motives behind the micro-cheating. And if it was because your partner found something lacking in the relationship, try to work on it together. Remember, a relationship takes two people. One individual alone cannot make it work.
6. Move on
Not all relationships are alike. For some, cheating might be a forgivable act, and for others, not so much. If you are determined to make it work, don’t bring up the past over and over again, especially if your partner has shown signs of actively working on their behaviour. But if you find yourself unable to trust your partner, there’s no reason to push the relationship further. It’s best to go your different ways.
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