Being friends with someone for a long time can shove us knee-deep in gratitude and affection for them. And this can easily make us avoid some major red flags that they might be showing. Yeah, just a romantic partner isn’t a walking red flag, sometimes your best friend could be walking that ramp too. And most people ignore or brush off these signs thinking it is just a phase and dosti ka ek usool hai, no sorry, no thank you. But bro, sorry, and no thank you, but I’ll pass on that crap. Here are eight signs of a toxic friendship that you need to stop ignoring.
1. Your friend starts acting up when you get upset
A friend that doesn’t care about your bad days and starts acting up if you’re upset is a major red flag. They can be completely oblivious to how you’re feeling and won’t address your concerns over theirs. Everything is suddenly about them, their mood, their priorities, and their problems.
2. They’re completely MIA when you’ve done something big and would throw a fit if you didn’t appreciate their smallest wins
One of the biggest signs of a toxic friendship is that your friend expects you to appreciate and celebrate the smallest of their wins. They want you to be their biggest cheerleader and would throw a fit if you don’t pat their back. But when you achieve something big or accomplish a goal, they are just MIA and won’t respond. If you confront them, you’re likely to hear something like ‘I knew you could do it, what’s new in that’ and be brushed off. That’s not really a compliment, you know.
3. They always try to put their agendas over yours
Be it asking for favours or doing something tiny for them, they’ll constantly chase you to get things done for them. And you mostly do it all because you are a “good friend”. But do they reciprocate with the same urgency and concern when things are about you? If the answer is no, they gotta go, babe.
4. Their texts or calls make you a little antsy
I know you love them from the bottom of your heart, but why do you skip a beat when you see a text or a missed call from them? Is it love? Is it affection? Is it excitement? I’ll tell you what, it’s none of that. It is plain and simple stress and anxiety induced by what it could be this time. Could it be another argument, a blame game, or a huge favour? If you feel antsy around them, that sure as hell isn’t the sign of a healthy friendship.
5. They talk behind your back to their other friends
A healthy friendship is all about balance, understanding, and a lot of gossiping about others. But if your bestie is going around spilling your secrets, that is a huge red flag. And on top of that, they’ll just act as if they did nothing wrong by letting it all out, ’cause their friends are also your friends. But that isn’t always true. Snitches get stitches i.e. friendship over.
6. They are always looking to one-up you
A best friend is someone who is happy in your happiness and sad in your sadness. But a walking red flag is always trying to one-up you. Whatever you do, big or small, they are always trying to do it better and shove it in your face. They can’t truly be happy for you and are always competing with you and trying to do better than you. And it could be as simple as getting a hair colour and blowout the very next day of your appointment.
7. You are walking on eggshells around them
If you are truly best friends, you would be open to sharing everything with them–the good, the bad, and the ugly. But if you constantly feel you are just saying things they want to hear to avoid drama, you gotta look out. Not being able to express yourself, because you feel that they will not understand, lash out, or try to make things about them, is a major sign of a toxic friendship.
8. They make fun of your issues or laugh at your insecurities
Remember the time when you told your bestie something that was huge to you and they just laughed in your face? And when you complained about not liking it, they simply asked you to get over it or said that you can’t take a joke? And then they did it again, now in front of the whole group, because apparently when you’re going through something, you’re being ‘too dramatic’ and it is really funny to them. Yes. That. Right there. Friendship over. Because if you feel uncomfortable confiding in them, it’s time to call it quits.
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