Another day, another headline that should’ve sparked a much-needed conversation about abuse, manipulation, and violence. Instead, the Sonam Raghuvanshi case (Meghalaya honeymoon murder case) has turned into yet another battleground for gender wars on the internet.

If you’ve somehow missed the storm: Sonam, a newlywed from Indore, has been accused of killing her husband, Raja Raghuvanshi, during their honeymoon in Meghalaya. Her lover, who is also accused, is said to have confessed, and the evidence, according to police reports, is damning. The sheer coldness of it is enough to make anyone sick.

And yet…scroll through social media and you’ll find a very different kind of sickness.

A horrific crime turned into a gender war

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Many online are using this case as ammunition in a much larger (and misguided) gender war. Following some recent cases like Sonam Raghuvanshi and Muskan Rastogi, Reddit threads and X posts are full of “this is why men don’t trust women,” “imagine if a man did this,” and the ever-predictable “nobody talks about male victims.”

Yes, men can be victims too. That’s not up for debate. But the way some people are suddenly rallying for justice, just to bash women, is painfully transparent. These aren’t human rights warriors. These are people who use cases like these just to shout “Gotcha!” at feminists.

Statistics still speak louder than the hashtags

In India, crimes against women aren’t rare — they‘re relentless. Rape, domestic violence, acid attacks, dowry deaths. You know the list. And yet somehow, these stories rarely go viral unless they’re particularly gruesome or involve a celebrity. Meanwhile, people are using the murder of Raja Raghuvanshi to say, “Look! Men are the real victims!” 

Why do we treat equality like a scoreboard? We don’t need to tally who suffers more. We need to be honest about who’s more systemically vulnerable. One gender being abused doesn’t cancel out the other’s pain. But statistically, and socially, women are still navigating a world where violence against them is disturbingly normalised. According to the 2023 Women Peace and Security Index, India ranks 128 out of 177 countries when it comes to justice and women’s security. 

What makes this whole situation harder to swallow is the sheer amount of misogynist vitriol being directed at Sonam, not for the murder, but for being a woman. People (mostly men) are using the case to question the entire concept of women’s rights. 

Meghalaya murder case is not about “men vs women”

Indeed, men who are victims of abuse often go unheard. There is stigma and a real lack of support systems. Women face the same stigma and lack of support, but on a much larger scale. Advocating for the rights of male victims of abuse doesn’t need you to disprove or undermine the suffering of women. The Meghalaya honeymoon murder case should make us furious. But it shouldn’t make us turn on each other. Because gender-based violence, whether against men or women, isn’t a competition. It’s a crisis. And it requires empathy, not ego wars.

So maybe, instead of twisting this into a moment of false equivalence, we could hold space for both truths: that Raja deserves justice, and that countless women still need protection. There’s room in the fight for more than one kind of victim.

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Related: Male Suffering And Inequality In Marriage: Time For Men To Speak Up