How do you know you can trust a man? He’s a feminist, respects women, and raises his voice against misogyny and crimes against women. These are the few answers that we often come across. Well, the short and bitter answer to this question is — you can’t. Eleven months after the RG Kar rape case that shook the nation, we’re back to the same outrage and shock. More because this time, the accused in the Kolkata law college gangrape case is one of the good men, somebody who has demanded justice for rape victims. Which makes us wonder: Is a “good” man a myth?

Eighty-five rape cases are reported in India every day. Every day. No one knows how many go unreported. And sometimes, there’s a case that sends the nation into uproar. We carry out candle marches, hold protests, and make hashtags that go viral. We demand justice. And the men who are beside us during these protests are “good” men. Men that we can trust and rely on. They are our allies in this fight against injustice. They are feminists. Or so we’re told.

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The myth of a good man

However, the recent Kolkata rape case where a law student was raped by a staff member, Monojit Mishra, tells us otherwise. Last year, when the RG Kar rape case was all over the headlines, Monojit used his social media to demand justice. He wrote, “Want death sentence for the rapist. Want justice and not drama.” Wouldn’t you believe this is a righteous man? But as media reports now show, Monojit has  allegedly committed multiple crimes, including sexual harassment, assault, vandalism, and theft. It has been reported that he even tore the clothes of a woman on campus. He was just never caught for it.

As much as this shocks and breaks your heart, it leads to the horrifying realisation — how easy is it for men to disguise themselves as allies. All it takes is a couple of posts on social media to position themselves as the feminist saviours women need. We are already scared and doubting everyone, so when men like these come along, who publicly stand against rape culture, we trust them. The bar is so low that a social media post makes us believe in the virtues of a man.

Is feminism a brand?

The Kolkata law college gangrape case proves that for men, feminism is not a belief system but a brand. They don’t care about dismantling the patriarchy; they use feminism so that nobody will ever think of questioning them. These men champion women’s rights online while walking over all the women in their lives. They demand justice for rape victims while raping their “friend” who denies their proposal. Yes, that’s allegedly why Monojit raped the victim. These men only call themselves feminists so that justice can turn its gaze away from them. They aren’t allies. And the real horror isn’t just what Monojit is accused of, but how easily he could have gotten away with it, like he has before. We are so starved for allies and good men that we will accept the scraps we’re offered.

This case burns the idea of a “good” man to the ground. As the list of men we women can trust keeps shrinking every day, we realise the ally paradox isn’t the glitch in the system, it is the system.

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