Hello, my dear bachchas. Have you heard about Kusha Kapila’s divorce? I’m sure you have and I’m sure you have your own ideas of why it happened. You know, I know a lot of divorced people. Not because oh my god so much divorce everywhere, where is our sanskaar. But because more and more bachchas are now realising that divorce is not a thing of shame that should be avoided at all costs. It’s sad and difficult, but it’s nothing to scream haye tauba about.

Even if you can’t relate to someone’s decision to divorce their spouse, you can be a decent person to them. It’s not that difficult. But beta ji, unfortunately, we tend to lean more towards gossip than support when we hear of someone’s divorce. And that helps no one. Not even people like Mrs Duggal who has been talking nonstop about Kusha and Zorawar even though it’s pushing her BP to the sky.

Anyway, unlike some of my neighbours, you can be a good, calm person, bachche. So, if a friend or relative tells you that they’re getting divorced, here’s what you should and shouldn’t do.

Don’t be a badtameez billi and ask, “Haww, what happened?”

If they want to tell you, they will. If they don’t want to tell you what happened, don’t behave like it’s your right to know. I know it’s natural to be curious; even my first instinct is to know kya hua bhai. But this is where being a good person comes in. You keep that question in your head and let it die. A better question to ask would be, “Are you okay?”. And if you don’t know the people getting divorced, just keep scrolling.

Avoid all stories that start with “I heard…”

Beta ji, unverified information is the worst! If you keep listening to the “Suna hai” versions of the divorce, the whole story will get jumbled in your head and you will land up saying something stupid in front of the affected person. So, even if you don’t want to take on the burden of telling all the uncles and aunties to shut up, you can at least ignore the ulti they’re happily spewing everywhere.

Don’t be sad on their behalf

Bachche, not all divorces come with a mandatory Meena Kumari track. Divorce might actually be a good thing and a relief for some people, you know. They don’t have to be sad after a divorce and you definitely don’t need to be sad for them. You’re not the main character of this story, wipe your tears and focus on your own kalesh, beta ji.

Don’t try to be their personal Guru Maa

Divorce doesn’t make people stupid, bachche. If the people getting divorced want advice from you, they will ask. If they don’t ask, feel free to assume that they know what they’re doing. You don’t have to hold a surprise satsang for them whenever you meet. It’s great to have big career ambitions but do your Guru Maa practice in your own time.

Keep your inner Sima Aunty inside you only

When someone is going through a divorce, what they absolutely do not need is a matchmaker. A broken marriage is not like a faulty bum jet spray. No one needs an immediate replacement. So, please keep your ideas for their Tinder profiles to yourself only. When they want to date again, they’ll manage without your valuable input.

Be supportive and listen

Divorce is a major change, bachche. So, just listen to them. Whether they’re right or wrong in your opinion, just open your ears and mind and listen. You’re not the lawyer of either party, so listen to them, say something nice if you can, and maybe give them a hug. You can also offer comfort food.

You see, bachche. It’s easy to be a good person to someone who’s going through a divorce. You don’t have to become the colony patrakaar about it. You can just be…normal.

Related: Supreme Court’s Big Order On Divorce: 6-Month Waiting Period No Longer Mandatory In All Cases