Before we begin, please know that cutting off relatives is tougher than you think. Dealing with toxic relatives in an Indian family is not the same as what we see in American movies and shows. You might block your bua on WhatsApp, but what will you do when the whole family has to come together, like at a wedding or a funeral? How will you face her and her family then? So, here are a few helpful, practical tips on how to deal with toxic relatives in an Indian family.
Make your point every single time you meet…calmly
It sounds like shallow therapyspeak when we say “Set your boundaries”, but this needs to be done. If your toxic relative constantly brings up the things you disagree on, stand your ground calmly. Bullies want to see you riled up and the one thing that bores a person like this is getting the same boring reaction over and over again. Don’t try to make them see your point of view or agree with you. And don’t forego what you believe in just to maintain a false sense of peace.
Reduce your interactions with them
One of the best ways to deal with a toxic relative without making it awkward is to just interact lesser and lesser with them. Don’t go to their house even if they insist. Don’t call or text them and take your time responding to them. That is if you have to reply. Limit your time with them to the absolutely necessary interactions, like at the above-mentioned family events, and offer nothing more.
Let a reliable, mature member of the family know what you think
The last thing you should do when dealing with a toxic family member is to isolate yourself. There is no reason to ignore the rest of your family because of one or two people. You should, in fact, let one of the most trusted family members know what you think. Let them explain the situation to the rest of the family in a rational manner, if needed. Even if they can’t resolve the issue, it will be comforting for you to know that someone understands your predicament.
Move out if you live with them
It’s important to know how to let go of family that hurts you. If you live with a toxic family member, it can be a very tricky situation. Move out, if you are able to, or at least start planning towards that goal. Look for jobs or study opportunities outside the city. If your workplace or college is far from your family home, make that a reason to rent your own place in a more convenient location. In Indian families, it’s never easy to move out of home but if you are forced to deal with a toxic relative while living there, you have to think of what is best for you. Parents, if they really want to, understand their kids eventually.
Related: 6 Things To Consider Before You Move Out Of Your Parents’ Home For The First Time
If your toxic relatives are so bad that you need to cut them off completely for your own sake, do it. Yes, it’s not easy to stick to a decision like that in an Indian family but if that’s what you need to do, don’t shy away from taking care of yourself first.
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Related: Moving In With Your Bae? 6 Things That Might Make You Reconsider The Change