Do you hate being at work during Diwali week? Aise muh latka ke mat baitho, beta ji. You can do more than just opening WhatsApp on your laptop and sending memes to your friends all day. You can actually make a difference this Diwali. You can become the office legend who made Diwali happy again for everyone. All you need to do is send Aunty Eve’s tips on how to celebrate Diwali in office to your HR.

Here are my epic ideas for office Diwali celebrations.

Play happy Bollywood songs in office all day long

Who is going to think of evil things like Excel sheets when Desi Girl is blaring in the background? Who will even consider overtime when Gallan Goodiyan is playing on loop? If you are friends with the person in charge of the speaker, you can even play songs as hints for your boss. Party karni hai, hum party karenge. Kisi ke bhi pappa se nahi darenge!

Ban meetings and performance reviews for the month

If you want to make your employees truly happy, declare Diwali month as the month of no meetings and no performance reviews for everyone. Email bhejo, reply ki chinta mat karo. Also, since Diwali is on 31st for some and on 1st for others, you have to ban meetings and reviews for two months this year, both October and November. Can’t hurt sentiments na, bachche.

Let the bachchas wear whatever they want

Be unique. Instead of telling them to wear their “ethnic best”, tell them to just wear what they are most comfortable in. So happy all the bachchas will be showing up to office in shorts, pajamas and phati hui t-shirt jo pocha bante bante reh gayi. You will get five stars on Glassdoor.

Feed them every day

Most bachchas are unhappy when they go to work because they have so much to carry every day. Yes, it is also because their bosses are just bad people, but their permanent thakaavat mostly comes from carrying lunch ke dabbe every day. Toh khilaa do na office mein hi. Order biryanis and burgers, alternating with salads because health, aur phir dekhna. No one will leave your company ever.

Chhutti de do for two weeks

If you don’t want to use any of my ideas of how to celebrate Diwali in office, then just give a two-week holiday to all bachchas. One week before and one week after Diwali. Chalo, chhutti nahi toh WFH hi de do inko. And if you can’t do that much also, khud hi karlo saara kaam.

Happy Diwali, beta ji. I hope you’re not in office.

Related: Are You Getting That Diwali Bonus? Take This Quiz To Find Out