Yes, beta ji. It is possible to be a good nanad. Just because your bua set the worst example possible doesn’t mean that this is the prathaa you choose to carry forward. Also, it is far more rewarding to be a good nanad than a bad one. I should know, I’m the best nanad ever. Just call my Bhabhi (and when you do, tell her to return my silver tea set). Anyway, here’s how to be a good sister-in-law even if your bhabhi wants to be Komolika.

Team up with her against your brother

No, bachche, I don’t mean maar-peet shuru kar do. I mean when they fight, take your bhabhi‘s side. Always, especially in the beginning. Your brother may sulk about it, but deep down (very, very deep down), he’ll be happy that his wife has someone to talk to in his family.

Tell your parents to complain to you instead of your bhai and bhabhi

Become a buffer, like a memory foam mattress, between the two couples. It will help maintain the peace at home, and beta ji, aapke toh bhaag khul jayenge. You will be everyone’s aankhon ka taara and the family won’t stop gushing about you to the whole world. Bitiya rani can then spend as much money as she wants on the next Apple launch.

Give your bhabhi the family rundown

Sounds fancy, but this just means filling her in on all the extended family gossip. She needs to know who the worst kaleshi/kaleshan is in the family and who is fighting over a khandar jaisa ghar. Tell her everything. She will always thank you for it. And in turn, when she starts getting gossip, you will be the first to know.

Take her side

Because aurat hi aurat ki bestie hoti hai. If she wants to move out with her husband, and your parents are being all Baghban about it, take her side. Apart from the logic of it, you will also get a second home out of this arrangement. And if she wants to get a job, drive her to the interviews. If she earns well, your sagan ke lifafe will only get fatter every year. Win-win, beta ji.

If your brother is getting married soon, remember these tips, bachche. You will want to fall at my feet eventually but please don’t. I am only (a much smarter) human.

Related: 9 Things Every Family Should Do To Make A Newlywed Bride Feel Comfortable In Her New Home