There is no time to be lame and mundane because Aquarius season is all about upping your game. Matters in the bedroom will be taken seriously and everyone will get a little something this week. Here’s your horoscope for this week.

1. Aries (March 21–April 19)

You know what’s hot? Not sitting around and being left on seen by someone who doesn’t look half as good as you. Not responding to your boss’ urgent mail at 11 pm. Taking charge of your life and treating yourself not just as the main character but as the only character that matters in the story. Don’t waste the fierceness of this week cleaning and changing bedsheets when you could be getting under them and making a hot mess.

AAE Pro Tip: Hot people order bulk biryani and have it for lunch, dinner, and breakfast the next day.

2. Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Dear Taurus, you can be many things but the worst you can be is a corporate slave. And I see you’re slowly losing your fun personality and turning into a snarky, sour-mouth corporate dude, and it ain’t cool, honey. The horoscope for January 29-February 4 is here to remind you that you need to take a few steps back carefully and not drown in the corporate drain. Go back to being the lively person who loved the world and had some spark in their eyes. Don’t let capitalism win.

AAE Pro Tip: Showing up drunk might not be the best way to get out of work, but one can try.

3. Gemini (May 21–June 20)

Is it the Gemini season yet? No. Are you only supposed to treat yourself and feel good during your birthday season? Also a big, hard no. So, what’s stopping you from maxing out your credit card and shopping to your heart’s content? I say you plan for your next long weekend getaway because this is the perfect time to get the best rates.

AAE Pro Tip: Margaritas taste best when chilled and during the early, miserable hours of work.

4. Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Holding grudges isn’t a good look on you. Being petty and showing people what they messed with isn’t either. 2024 is all about good vibes and high tides. And so far, I don’t see you getting on board any of these ships. So, this week, get your mom to do some jhaad-phook on you and help you get rid of any sort of buri nazar or kaala jaadu your kaleshi ex might have done. It is time to get back on track and live your life to the fullest.

AAE Pro Tip: You know what’s a good look on you? Burying your past and living in the present. 

5. Leo (July 23–August 22)

Aquarius season is here for you to take responsibility and bloom. Letting go of old ways and stepping into change is the right way to grow and this year is all about growing into the best version of you. People still might have opinions or concerns, but right now, you need to focus on what you want to achieve. Hustle in silence, protect your peace, and surround yourself with like-minded people.

AAE Pro Tip: Be vocal about what you want and let communication be your strong suit this week. 

6. Virgo (August 23–September 22)

How are you doing, Virgo? I know Earth season has passed and you are finding it hard to adjust to the Air season. But if I know anyone who can camouflage into any situation, it’s you, my little chameleon. So, stop wasting your time redoing the seamless bedsheets and look for something that utilises your brain and your talent. How about learning the art of making the best Margherita pizza? It’s resourceful, fun, and also tastes great at any time of the day.

AAE Pro Tip: If you decide to cook, don’t let your mom know that you enjoyed it or you’ll have to pay. 

7. Libra (September 23–October 22)

My dearest Libra, did you give some thought to my advice last week? Because I assure you it has everything to do with what’s coming for you this week. You might feel that things are happening out of the blue and you could feel a little overwhelmed. But it was all in the making for a while now, you just kept ignoring all the signs the universe was throwing at you. So, buckle up because this week is going to be testing you.

AAE Pro Tip: Stock up on some patience and try some meditation apps. You’ll need them. 

8. Scorpio (October 23–November 21)

Do you feel like a lot of times you’re physically present somewhere but you’re emotionally completely closed off and in a different zone? Well, I see this has been happening quite frequently and Aquarius season urges you to confront any underlying conflict. You might not feel the need to deal with any emotional drama right now, but this week, you’ll have to face it. So, gear up for an emotionally challenging week, and be assured you will come out sane and strong.

AAE Pro Tip: Your opinions and thoughts matter, make sure you’re putting them out in front of the right people. 

9. Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

If someone is having more fun than their Aquarius buddies this week, it’s you. You’ve finally decided to open yourself up to new opportunities and this includes hot people and sane bosses. Well, don’t just wait around the whole week to see how things unfold, you’ll have to put in some hard work too, you know. Good things happen to those who go out there and seek things for themselves, nothing worth having comes easy, bb.

AAE Pro Tip: Go out to the bar and seek free drinks by using your charm and flirting skills. 

10. Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

When you put your mind and heart into something, I hardly think there is any power on earth that can stop you. And it seems like you will be required to use that determination this week. Things will go smoothly, but if something gets stuck, you’ll have to make sure you overcome the hurdle to get what you want. You are shaping your future, so make sure you are entertaining only the best of the lot and have faith in yourself. The universe has your back.

AAE Pro Tip: Don’t trouble yourself over inconsequential things and people. They are just not worth it.

11. Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

Hello there, Aquarius. Looks like the birthday fever has gotten to you and is also getting to your bank account. I know you have a good reason to be splurging and treating yourself, but I think checking your bank statements now and then could be a good idea. After all, a little balance could really help you after the birthday festivities, and having 100 rupees in your account by the end of it isn’t cool.

AAE Pro Tip: Buying expensive whiskey for friends who get drunk on Breezers is the kind of waste you should avoid. 

12. Pisces (February 19–March 20)

Even though birthday season isn’t coming for another week or so, the horoscope for January 29-February 4 has some advice for you. How about creating a birthday fund that will allow you to enjoy your expensive taste without going broke? It is all about survival of the fittest, Pisces. And if you can plan ahead financially, you’ll be in a safe spot. After all, birthdays only come once a year and everyone should treat themselves.

AAE Pro Tip: Don’t get chatty with any of your exes just ’cause it’s birthday season. It still ain’t hoe season.

Stop binging Friends reruns and get some sleep, sis. Those fifty shades of dark circles don’t go well with your no-makeup look.