Romantic affairs destroy relationships. But another form of cheating wreaks more havoc on relationships, and it’s far more common than you might think. Data says, financial infidelity, the act of hiding money matters from your partner, affects more couples than sexual infidelity. Yet, financial infidelity in marriage is rarely discussed at dinner parties or in therapy sessions. Forty per cent of adults in committed relationships are currently keeping money secrets.

Compare that to sexual infidelity, which affects approximately 20 per cent of men and 13 per cent of women in marriages, according to the General Social Survey. Financial betrayal isn’t just common, it’s epidemic. Perhaps most telling: 45 per cent of surveyed couples believe keeping financial secrets is as bad as physical infidelity. Seven per cent consider it even worse.

The young and faithless

What’s even more interesting is that the generation most concerned about financial betrayal is also the one most likely to commit it. A staggering 67 per cent of Gen Z adults in relationships have engaged in financial infidelity, compared to 54 per cent of millennials and just 30 per cent of baby boomers. Yet 63 per cent of Gen Z adults view financial infidelity as being as bad or worse than physical cheating, compared to only 36 per cent of boomers. It’s a paradox: they know it’s wrong, they consider it deeply harmful, and yet they do it anyway. 

Financial infidelity isn’t just about secret shopping sprees. Research by Northeastern University’s Hristina Nikolova identifies six categories: spending, saving, debt, gift-giving, gambling, and income. The deception ranges from the mundane (lying about the cost of trainers) to the catastrophic (hiding a second mortgage or gambling addiction).

In India, the picture becomes even more complex. We know finances aren’t as individual in India as we’d like to believe, and data proves it. Research on Indian family dynamics reveals that financial decisions often involve extended family — parents, in-laws, and siblings, adding unique pressure points. Young couples in joint families sometimes secretly save towards household separation, becoming what researchers call “secret allies” against parental financial control.

Business Today reports that Indian couples argue about money one to two times weekly, making it the top marital conflict after household chores. The cultural taboo around discussing money before marriage means couples often discover undisclosed debts, vastly different spending habits, or conflicting family obligations only after tying the knot. With families frequently seeking financial support from married children, the pressure to hide transfers to parents or siblings becomes intense.

Why do we commit financial infidelity in marriage?

The NEFE survey reveals the top motivations: 38 per cent believe some finances should remain private, 34 per cent fear their partner’s disapproval, and 33 per cent feel embarrassed about their financial situation. But it goes deeper than that. Financial infidelity often stems from shame over unemployment, addiction, reckless spending, or crushing debt. Sometimes, it’s about control in relationships where one partner feels financially dominant. Other times, it’s simply the fear of judgement over small expenses.

The digital age has made deception easier, but financial infidelity doesn’t just affect your bank balance; it detonates the foundation of your relationship. When the lies emerge, partners are left asking: “If they’ll lie about this, what else are they hiding?”

The NEFE survey also found that while 19 per cent of couples improved their relationship after addressing financial infidelity, 16 per cent divorced and 13 per cent separated. Professor Nikolova states, “Financial infidelity actually might be more hurtful to a relationship than romantic infidelity.” Money affects everything from where you live to how you raise children to when you retire.

Money conversations are uncomfortable. They force us to confront our values, fears, and vulnerabilities. But avoiding these discussions costs far too much. If you’re hiding financial information, consider this: temporary relief from a difficult conversation isn’t worth the long-term damage to your relationship. If you suspect your partner of financial infidelity, approach with curiosity rather than accusation because financial deception often stems from fear or shame, not malice.

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Related: Marriage And Money: Why Financial Freedom Is The Best Wedding Gift For A Bride

FAQs

Q1. Can I divorce my partner for financial infidelity?

Yes, financial infidelity is a strong reason for divorce in India, under the special mental cruelty provision under the Hindu Marriage Act.

Q2. What are some signs of financial infidelity?

If they avoid talking about finances, you constantly find your account balances lower than expected, or if they want complete financial separation, they are likely cheating on you financially.

Q3. How do I deal with financial infidelity in a marriage?

Confront them honestly. Ask them why they did it and try to find a common ground and a mutual way forward. 

Q4. Is financial infidelity a crime?

No, financial infidelity is not a crime.