OMG what is happening? Haye, bachche, I am just so shocked. Tandav and Mirzapur are in trouble? I toh don’t understand only. How are two shows maligning the image of such a big state? Yeh toh Star Plus pe bhi nahi aate. And east or west, UP is best. No show can change that. We all know how pure and pious that state and their cops are. Haina?
Anyway, while other, less important people are dealing with this nonsense, I have other critical matters to tackle. Now that we are playing ban-ban with shows and web series, I thought I should take this opportunity (everyone wants to trend hehe) to point out some other shows that need to be BANNED! They hurt A LOT of sentiments, including mine and Mrs Duggal’s. Please start the required petitions to ban these shows, bachche.
The Duke is just too hot, bachche. Don’t watch it, dard hoga bohot. It hurts my woman-with-unhot-husband sentiments. Every time your uncle burps, I want to kill Daphne and take her place. BAN!
Whose child is whose parent is whose wife? It hurts my brain. BAN!
Look, bachche. We don’t all operate like Sima mami. In fact, this particular series shows us aunties in very bad light. I assure you my rishta finding skills are much better. Ban this bakwaas please.
The trailer was enough for me to demand a ban on this show. Who needs to watch a show before demanding a ban anyway? Lupin makes me want to be a thief, it hurts my sanskaar. BAN!
The Queen’s Gambit
Yes, I loved all her clothes. Yes, I watched all episodes just for the clothes. But that is not good enough to keep this show on Netflix. It is so hurtful and insensitive towards non-chess players (normal, not smart people, I mean). It makes me and Mrs Duggal feel stupid and fashion ignorant. BAN!
The cheels are setting unbearable standards of hotness. It gives your uncle’s precious belly an existential crisis. Too much drama in my life, beta. BAN!
Four More Shots Please
My friends don’t surprise me in a different country with an impromptu girls’ vacation, so seeing it happen to someone else is very hurtful. This show hurts the sentiments of poor people. And friendless people. BAN!
Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives
They went to Doha on holiday and not Dubai? This hurts the sentiments of all Indians. Imagine, we had to see the Middle East on TV without a SINGLE shot of Burj Khalifa. Very insensitive. BAN!
Alexis’ clothes are far too amazing. This hurts my wallet’s feelings when I stare at it, just lying there empty and useless. BAN! Otherwise, all the empty wallets of my neighbourhood will riot.
Tell me, can you really take more of Nikki or Rubina? Can you? BAN IMMEDIATELY!
Can you think of more shows to ban? Tell your aunty, bachche. I will make it happen.