You talk about sex, and everyone automatically assumes it’s all about penetration. The end goal of sex should not be penetration and climax, it should be mutual pleasure. The more pressure you feel to reach climax, the more elusive it’ll be. And let’s just be clear, penetrative sex does not guarantee orgasms for a woman.

Studies have shown that during sex, the number of men who orgasm is way higher than women. And the number of women who orgasm with only penetrative sex is on a steady decline. According to research, women said they are more likely to orgasm with assisted intercourse as opposed to unassisted intercourse. Take note, dear sirs, on how you can make sex more pleasurable for your female partners in a non-penetrative way.

1. Kissing

Kissing is so underrated. Don’t treat the act of kissing as a prelude to intercourse. Instead, treat it as a whole act of a pleasure fest. Kissing doesn’t mean you have to just stick to the lips. Let your lips wander. Kiss your way across your partner’s body. The neck, ears, breasts, small of the back, inner wrist are some of the erogenous parts in a female body. Supplement your kissing with light touches across the body to turn up the pleasure. Kissing gives you a way to explore your partner’s body fully. Take your time with it and don’t rush it.

2. Dirty talking

There’s no bigger sex organ than the brain and ignoring it is stupid AF. A dirty thought here and there might be all you need to get the ball rolling. Putting ideas in your partner’s mind about what you want to do can be all that they need to get turned on. Indulge in some dirty talk, tell your partner in explicit detail about what you want to do to them. If there’s a fantasy you want to act out, tell your partner all about it and get as filthy as you can. Some dirty talk can get you so worked up that you could climax without a touch.

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3. Mutual masturbate for each other

There’s nothing sexier than watching your partner take their pleasure into their own hands. Put up a show for your partner and ask them to do the same. This won’t just be a turn on for both you and your partner, but also an exercise in self-confidence. Make sure you don’t jump in to finish the job for your partners. Follow a no-touching rule.

4. Go down on your partner

Giving your partner some oral action can be fun for all parties involved. And if you want to get creative, try a 69 position to ensure both of you are being taken care of at the same time. Use your tongue to pleasure your partner. You can also use your finger to massage the clitoris and enhance the experience. Direct clitoral stimulation is the best way to ensure your female partner can have an orgasm.

Related: Move Over, Missionary: Here Are 9 Other Sex Positions For You To Try

5. Dry humping

Dry humping is just sex with clothes on. You can start with making out and proceed further. Keeping the clothes adds to the sexual tension. And if you are feeling adventurous, you can do this in a public space, your car or even in a closet if you have people at home. Don’t think that an orgasm will elude you just because the clothes don’t come off.

6. Edging

If you are a fan of Fifty Shades of Grey, you might have seen Mr Grey try this out with Ms Steele. Edging is bringing your partner to the edge of orgasm without actually letting them orgasm. Do this a few times and build up the sexual tension. By the time you eventually orgasm, the release will be intense.

7. Non-penetrative sex toys

A sex toy is your partner in pleasure. Don’t take it on your ego, boys! Treat a toy like another part of the relationship that’ll help to pleasure your partner. Try a massager or a vibrator to give your partner intense pleasure.

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