Is it just me or has the past week been really exhausting? Well, don’t worry lovelies, because this week won’t suck as bad…I think. Here’s the horoscope for April 5-11.
1. Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Dearest Aries, is overthinking your guilty pleasure, hobby, or just something that makes you happy? Because you have really mastered the art of creating fake scenarios in your head and living your life with its outcome. But let me remind you that your life isn’t a Bollywood movie directed by Karan Johar. So, it is better if you get your ass out of your head and stop dancing to Bole Chudiyaan, ’cause it ain’t happening, honey. Get a grip on reality and you may avoid disappointment every now and then. And oh, happy birthday!
AAE Pro Tip: Block your toxic friends because they will be posting your shitty pictures on your birthday.
2. Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
My darling darling Taurus, what has kept you hidden in your room the whole week? The universe is out there granting wishes and you are in the mood to play hide and seek? Maybe it is time to come out and connect with your old pals if you are feeling too left out. Communication and alcohol will be your best buddies this week, so use them both to your advantage. Also, your horoscope for April 5-11 predicts some romance on the cards, so get ready to be sassy and social!
AAE Pro Tip: Say yes to all the opportunities coming your way because your friends are feeling kind towards you.
3. Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
What’s up with this pity party going on with you and why wasn’t I invited? The week has clearly been hard on you, but the horoscope for April 5-11 asks you to get back on your feet. Enough of being this mess because it is time to be a hot mess. Get out of your pajamas, clean your room, and change your bedsheets. I see bigger things coming your way, so start saving up. You can’t play broke when life presents itself in front of you. Now, that’s enough motivation, so get down to some action.
AAE Pro Tip: Talking about action, maybe it is time to pay some attention to your love life this week.
4. Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Looks like someone finally took my advice and came out of their shell. Good for you, Crab! The week ahead looks promising and is full of exciting experiences, so buckle up. And even though work will be crazy this week, you will have to play the crazier one if you want to get out of it alive. Don’t let this 9-5 dull your sparkle because you were made for bigger things than getting in bed by 11. A little catch-up with your friends won’t hurt, so let the social butterfly in you spread its wings!
AAE Pro Tip: It looks like there is a hookup on the cards for you. Are you ready to go full steam ahead?
5. Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Is it your life that’s toxic or is it actually your partner, Leo? Because the horoscope for April 5-11 points towards the latter. You have been successfully avoiding your relationship and all the drama all this while, but maybe it’s time to face reality. Usually, it’s good to communicate and make things better, but at this point, it looks like you are past this stage. So, take your own decisions even if they are tough because you need to clear your head.
AAE Pro Tip: Your Gemini friend is hosting a pity party, maybe you should join them?
6. Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
It’s good to see you taking charge and making plans on your own, Virgo. Because that is exactly how you retain friends and not by avoiding their calls and texts. You have bigger and more important tasks at hand this week, so stay away from that bottle of wine. And even though you might be met with some disappointments and hardships, you can deal with them. Because as long as you have your friends by your side, you can smack someone in the face and still get away with it. Just don’t apply that rule to your boss.
AAE Pro Tip: Talking about disappointments, how is your cookie baking session going?
7. Libra (September 23 – October 22)
The horoscope for April 5-11 asks you to face reality and get down from cloud nine. Avoiding truth bombs isn’t a solution, so face and fix your problems. Sit down, get some candy, and just go at it. Call a friend to come over if you think you need some extra support and ask them to bring beer. You should use all the support you get. And don’t worry, as soon as you deal with your shit, you will actually realise it’s all pretty silly.
AAE Pro Tip: Eating a whole chocolate cake is called self-love and you deserve it this week, boo.
8. Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Dear Scorpio, no matter how tough anything is, it can never be big enough that you can’t deal with it. This week, channel your inner problem solver and take quick and wise decisions. You will be highly appreciated and supported by friends, family, and colleagues this week, so let the love flow. It’s been a tiresome week full of stress and unnecessary long client calls, but this week is the exact opposite. So, kick back, get some rest, do some skincare, and chill the fuck out.
AAE Pro Tip: Your friends are up to something, maybe it is time to poke your nose in and get some updates.
9. Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Why you gotta be so rude? What’s up with you, Sagittarius, because you aren’t someone with a short temper. Is someone getting on your nerves or are you just generally annoyed? The horoscope for April 5-11 asks you to sit down and cool off a little. Being a pain in the ass isn’t going to help anyone around, so stop that behaviour already. Maybe you need some time all by yourself and no one around to blame for your stupid sleep-deprived schedule. Get a grip on yourself and stay away from your irritating bae.
AAE Pro Tip: It’s time to lock yourself in and start a movie marathon that will last all week long.
10. Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Why are you behaving all relationship-y when you aren’t even in one? You need to get your head out of fantasies and give yourself a reality check. Stop being stupid for people who don’t even bother to notice you. You are way better than that, Cap, so don’t dull yourself down for anyone. Rise and shine because if you won’t do it for yourself, no one else will. This week will open your eyes and show you exactly what needs to be done. Buckle up, boo!
AAE Pro Tip: You really need to stop watching sappy romcoms for a bit because that is what seems to be messing up your head.
11. Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Dear Aquarius, it’s been a chill week for you and you totally deserved it. And the upcoming week is going to be a complete rollercoaster, so be ready. You have been expecting change and this week is going to bring a lot of changes. This also reminds me that your room looks a bit stuffy, maybe change your curtains too? So, whether it is some life-changing gossip or a completely unexpected person making a re-entry into your life, this week is going to be full of surprises.
AAE Pro Tip: This week demands sitting back and observing all the drama rather than being the one causing it.
12. Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
It’s been a hell of a week for you, dear Pisces, but things are finally looking a bit hopeful. Just keep doing what you are doing and don’t think about instant results. Sometimes, it takes a lot of patience to actually see the results, so keep going. Also, two days of working out won’t give you that snatched body, so burn those calories and deal with the pain. Because feeling hot AF is totally worth it.
AAE Pro Tip: Wear green this week to the gym, it will attract positive energy and hot people!
Have a great week ahead, loves!