I remember coming home after my boyfriend broke up with me and blasting Escapism. in my room and crying. The heartbreak hurt, and there were lots of tears and screaming, but it only lasted for a short while. I was up and running in a couple of weeks. Somehow, I have never felt this kind of “Okay, it’s done” feeling when I’ve had friendship fallouts. When friendships end, they linger, and they keep hurting. So, we are forced to ask why friendship breakups hurt so much. 

I know I am not the first one to realise this, but I have to say — friendship breakups are the worst. You might disagree with me right now, but hear me out, and you’ll realise why I am right.

1. No roadmap

Who do you go to when a friendship is over? When I broke up with my boyfriends, my girls knew what to do — ice cream, movies and late-night talks- those made everything better. But none of that happened with my friendship breakups.

Bollywood has failed us when it comes to friendship breakups. Where are movies that will validate my anger and pain? There are none, so nobody brings you a tub of ice cream and lets you cry as you watch Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani in the memory of your now-gone friendship. 

There are no grieving rituals for friendship breakups, so everyone expects you to move on as if you haven’t lost a part of yourself.

2. Weight of long-lasting memories

Friendships are usually the longest relationships in our lives apart from family. They are the rock we lean on when the tides are high. From corny high school stories to the unbelievable achievements of adulthood, our friends are always there. Losing the person who witnessed you growing up is hard. All the memories you made with them become difficult to think back on. Every time you visit a place you frequented together or have their favourite food, those memories come rushing back, and you can’t erase them.

3. Where does it start and end?

One of my recent friendship fallouts happened in the aftermath of a romantic breakup. Both of them were ugly and made me angry, but only one made me cry way into the night. Yep, you guessed it right. It was my friendship breakup, and that was due for two years. That’s how complex friendship fallouts are. It’s usually not one thing that breaks the friendship but multiple things that build up over the years. So, you never know when it all began to unravel.

4. Friendships are unconditional bonds

Unlike romantic relationships, no shared responsibility ties two friends together. They are built on a pure and genuine love for each other and the desire to be together. No honeymoon phase clouds your judgment until it’s too late. Your friendship is based on the foundation of unconditional love you two share, and that’s another reason friendship breakups hurt so much.

I still don’t know how to mourn the loss of a friendship. I don’t have a playlist ready, nor do I have a movie to relate to. No movie tells me how to navigate the end of a friendship that once meant the world to me. Friendship breakups are the worst because the grief they inflict is not taken seriously.

Featured Image Source

Related: Time To Say Goodbye To Your BFF? 8 Signs Your Friendship Is Ending