In 1968, Sharmila Tagore did something extraordinary. Before marrying Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi, the legendary cricketer, she gifted him a Mercedes-Benz worth ₹1 lakh then, as reported by Miss Malini. To put that in perspective, this wasn’t simply an expensive gift. In an era when importing luxury cars required special government approval, when such gestures were practically unheard of, Sharmila Tagore made a statement that resonates even more powerfully today: when two people of means come together, generosity shouldn’t flow in only one direction.

The privilege we still don’t acknowledge

Somewhere along the way, we’ve accepted a peculiar double standard in modern relationships. We’ve championed equality in the workplace, demanded it in the home, insisted upon it in emotional labour, and rightly so. But when it comes to material generosity, to the grand gestures and thoughtful spoiling, we’ve remained oddly Victorian.

The expectation persists: men provide, women receive. Men demonstrate their affection through lavish gifts, memorable experiences, and financial security. And women? Well, women show appreciation, certainly. They’re supportive, nurturing, and understanding. But actively spoiling their partners? That’s somehow still seen as exceptional rather than expected.

This asymmetry becomes even more glaring when both parties come from privilege. When a woman has her own wealth, career, and financial independence, why should the traditional script remain unchanged? When she can afford to surprise him with something extraordinary, why shouldn’t she?

Privilege brings with it access, comfort and options, but it also brings responsibility. If two people have social, economic or cultural advantages, then the emotional and practical labour in the relationship should not automatically fall along traditional gender lines. Modern relationship conversations often emphasise what men owe women, which historical inequality justifies, but we must ensure that correcting those injustices doesn’t silence the simple truth that men also deserve care when they offer respect and partnership.

We all deserve to feel special

There are many men today who treat their partners with dignity, do not cling to their ego, share household responsibilities, show emotional availability, and consciously reject entitlement. These men are told that they must give, protect and provide, but they are rarely told that they deserve to be nurtured in return. The expectation still lingers that affection flows outward from men and inward toward women, even in privileged relationships where the woman has as much as or more than the man.

The story of Sharmila Tagore and Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi challenges this assumption. Here was a successful woman openly indulging her partner, not because she was compensating for anything, but because she wanted to express love in a way traditionally expected of men.

We’ve normalised the idea that men don’t need such things, that they don’t crave being surprised, delighted, swept off their feet. But that’s nonsense. Who doesn’t love their partner spoiling them? Gentlemen, if you’re reading this, allow yourself to be surprised, delighted, valued in material ways as well as emotional ones.

And ladies, if you’re in a position of privilege, embrace the power of the grand gesture. Surprise him in ways that make him feel valued and seen. Not because you have to, but because partnership means both of you get to feel like you’ve won the lottery.

Featured Image Source

Related: Your Partner’s Reaction To A Bird Might Be The Best Relationship Test In 2026