I often see bachchas fall for the simplest scams. Like ultra sweet saasus. A 100 percent sweet saasu is a lie, beta ji. Look at your mom. Is she genuinely sweet to everyone all the time? Is she sweet to you—her own child—all the time? No, of course not. Because she’s human. If a human being is constantly nice, daal mein bohot kuchh kaala hai, bachche. Don’t believe me? Listen to this freshly minted bahu’s story of a mother-in-law who was “so sweet” in the beginning but showed her zehreele colours after the wedding.

 

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So, to make sure no one else falls for the sweet saas scam, here are a few red flags to look out for in your chaashni jaisi mother-in-law

“Bahu nahi, beti hai“

This is the most common red flag in a mother-in-law. One way to verify this claim is to speak to the actual beti. You should know how the actual betis of the house are treated before you become one of them. Also, bahu will never be equal to their own child. That is a very unrealistic dream, bachche. And a very unnecessary one also. Sapne dekhne hain toh dhang ke dekho. Like buying a beach house in Spain with your best friend. Yeh kaisi damp basement-level dreams hain? You are already someone’s beti and that’s enough.

“I will take you shopping before the shaadi“

In other words, “I will control your looks—for the wedding and after”. How many times do you go shopping with your own mother that you’re indulging your MIL this much? Let her take you shopping once, maybe twice. That’s it. Otherwise, before you know it, you will look like a younger version of her kitty friends. And changing anything about your wardrobe then will be “disrespectful”.

“I am very liberal, very evolved”

Yeh kehne ki zaroorat kyun padi? This is a huge red flag in a mother-in-law, bachche. It sounds amazing but if this is true, it doesn’t need to be said. Call me clichéd, but actions speak louder than words, beta ji. If she says she’s liberal, she only thinks she is. When it needs to be shown, she will be as conservative as a MAGA-hat wearing Karen cheering loudly in Trump’s rallies.

“I will never try to control you”

If you hear this, know that the reality will be the complete opposite. Someone who doesn’t want to control you will never even think of saying this. Why would the thought of controlling the bahu‘s life even cross her mind if it’s not a thing in their house? If you still want to marry this woman’s son, you will have to fight for control of your own life every single day. It’s great if you have the fighter spirit, bachche. But if you don’t, learn the art of manipulation. It will come in handy.

For more tips and tricks, follow Aunty Eve on Instagram.

Related: How To Set Boundaries With In-Laws: Expert Tips On How To Be A Happy Bahu