Let’s be clear, I overthink a lot of things. Sometimes, that works out well for me, but more often than not, it annoys the people who have to hear me talk about the same thing over and over again. I’m turning 38 this year and have been married for over eight years. However, as opposed to everything I’ve been told about the ideal timeline in a woman’s life, I don’t have a single child. And it’s not something that upsets me, my husband and I are child-free by choice. But I do think (a lot) about it now and then. Will I actually enjoy motherhood or are my hormones trying to trick me into reproducing? Is my brain producing a logical thought in favour of having a baby or is my uterus plotting against me?

If you’re also swinging back and forth between the joys of parenthood and the bliss of eternal freedom, you know what I mean. To help myself and others on a similar see-saw, I made a list of the pros and cons of having a child. So that you too can join me in the bottomless pit of overthinking.

Pro: My baby will probably be cute

If my baby pictures are anything to go by, my baby will be round and pink. At least till they turn 2.

Con: My baby will also be super fussy

If my baby stories are anything to go by, anything I birth will cry a lot and be super fussy. And that won’t stop till the age of about 10.

Pro: My baby could get my husband’s brains

And that will mean this child will be great at mathematics and know how to make money. This child will also know the value of jugaad. Every Indian parent’s dream!

Con: My baby could get my brains

This will mean that my child will be great at language skills but will also be super judgemental, sarcastic, and stubborn about the most random stuff. Can I handle that? I think not.

Pro: Relatives will get off my case

If I have even one child, every single relative will get off my case and I can finally meet them without preparing myself for an onslaught of “when are you giving us the good news”.

Con: Will they really get off my case?

Or will they start pestering me for a second baby because a child gets unbearably lonely (apparently) without a sibling?

Pro: The child could be a support for us in our old age

Yes, babies are expensive, but it could be a good investment if the child actually looks after us when and if we’re immobilised.

Con: The child could leave us and never turn back as soon as we turn 60

This is quite a slippery slope because no offspring should be birthed with the sole purpose of looking after their parents. It’s unfair, and a child’s love is hardly ever guaranteed after the age of 5.

Pro: My gynaecologist will be thrilled

After years of side eyes and head shakes, I will (probably) get a look of approval from her. And I can finally walk out of her office without feeling like I’ve failed at life.

Con: My body will go through hell

Organs will expand and change positions, my already fragile bones will be prone to more damage, and let’s not even talk about the various aches and pains that will come and go like unwanted guests. I can barely handle period cramps!

Related: 13 Lesser-Known Facts About Pregnancy And Childbirth That Will Blow Your Mind

Pro: I could be the next cool mom on Instagram

I could be a white girl about motherhood and go to yoga classes with the baby. I could travel with the baby on my back and strike poses that need no filters. Life could be super pretty, at least on social media.

Con: I may not be able to travel or work or do any of the things that keep me sane

All of the above may feel absolutely impossible and I might have to give up everything I love to look after the baby. Forget travel, I may not even be able to get back to working full-time. And that sounds like a living nightmare.

Pro: My house will feel like the home of my childhood

The sounds of laughter and toys will fill my quiet home, similar to my childhood memories of a happy home. Who doesn’t love the sound of a happy baby, right?

Con: All my gorgeous (expensive) home décor will be ruined or stashed away

My wonderful piece of serene paradise will turn into a noisy, messy house with no respite for me or my husband, two people who currently enjoy as much me-time as they want, whenever they want.

Pro: A whole new set of friends who will be going through the same things as me

I’ve always been a little envious of those groups of mom friends who go through similar trials and tribulations, support each other, and stay friends for life. Also, these folks know how to party even at 11 am on a Tuesday!

Con: I might lose my single, child-free friends. Which is pretty much all my friends

In this quest for mom friends, I will probably lose my child-free friends who won’t be able to tolerate the new me and my bundle of joy. And who would blame them? I’ve been known to turn away from babies just to avoid the risk of being pooped or puked on.

I once came across a tweet that said the people who would probably make the best parents spend their reproductive years overthinking their ability to be a parent. And soon enough, time makes the decision for them. This thought didn’t help me then, and it really doesn’t help me now. So, back to overthinking it is.

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