Whether you’re 16, 22, or even 30, breaking up is never easy, especially if it’s after years of dating. Modern-day breakups are confusing, frustrating, and don’t have any real boundaries. From being the first ones to watch your stories to accidentally liking an old post at 3 a.m., the constant access to your exes makes it hard to move on. The mixed signals, nostalgia, lingering on, and just being in a perpetually confused state make things fairly ugly. So, if you’ve recently broken up and put yourself in a loop of stalking them, listening to sappy songs, and making your friends stalk their new partner, you need to stop. It’s time to bring back the no contact rule in breakups. It’s the perfect detox for our emotionally overstimulated generation, and here’s why it works. Gen Z, take notes.

What is the no contact rule?

As the name suggests, the no contact rule means cutting off all communication with your ex. Yep, not even liking their stories or checking their profile from a friend’s phone. The idea is not to ghost them to make them miss you. It’s the opposite; ghost them to clear your head, maintain distance, and let go bit by bit. By not allowing yourself to even check in with them, you are giving yourself a full emotional detox, not a temporary break. And if you want to go to the pro level, cut off contact with their friends, family members and anyone in common too. It might sound brutal and cold, but a little tough love will do you good in the long run. So, create emotional distance in order to heal. Do not keep picking at the wound by trying to stay in the slightest contact through DMs or Snapchat. Out of sight, out of mind, quite literally.

Why does the no contact rule work?

Breakups are messy and chaotic and leave behind a lot of bad blood, especially when both people still have leftover feelings. But if you don’t practise the no-contact rule, it is just a matter of time before one of you goes back to the other out of boredom, loneliness, or just the fear of being single. Then comes the slippery slope called the ‘situationship’, which will make matters worse and create more emotional stress. While you crave intimacy, validation, and familiarity post-breakup, this rule interrupts your emotional dependency, stopping you from romanticising the past and living in the present.

Modern-day dating and social media have given 24-hour access to everyone in our lives, making it hard to let go. But the no contact rule forces you to put up boundaries even when it feels nearly impossible. It saves you from unwanted booty calls and drunk texts. It makes you sit with the breakup, process the feelings and the hurt, and see the relationship for what it was and not get manipulated into going back to your ex.

How to not break the no contact rule

It’s like resisting the urge to have a cheesy pizza at 2 a.m. It might feel great in the moment, but you know you’ll wake up to regret. The hard part of the rule is not starting, it’s sticking with it. So, in order to stay consistent, start by setting a realistic timeline for yourself, like one week to begin with. Resist the temptation to text, call, or even peek at their social media. If you can, mute them for the time being to help keep them out of sight. This is the only time when ghosting is approved and the right thing to do. Just remember, it is okay to fail, but it is not okay to stay stuck and not get back up. When the urge hits, ask yourself, is it really worth getting in touch and ruining your mental peace all over again? Remember, sometimes, the real glow-up lies in self-care and being a little selfish for your own sake.

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