Marriage, they say, is the beginning of a beautiful partnership. But for Indian women, it is so much more than that. It is also the start of balancing multiple roles and handling the expectations of a spouse and a new family. Here, Indian women with years of marriage behind them share what they wish their husbands had known before the wedding. So, dear men, treat these as essential marriage tips so you can be better husbands to your wives.

Become an ACTUAL life partner

The days of men being mere providers are long gone. It’s time for raja betas to learn that the kitchen isn’t a magical place where food just appears. Deeksha, who’s been married for three years, says, “Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean I’m naturally inclined to love cooking. Back home, I was just as pampered as he was. So, it’d have been great if we both tried to figure it out together.”

Household responsibilities are meant to be shared not as a favour but as equal partners. This is what Shivangi, who has been married for six years, says too. “He’d ‘help’ with the kids or ‘help’ with cleaning as if it’s just my responsibility. We both live here; we both need to own it.”

And most importantly, if your wife has a career, understand that doing housework is not a choice, it’s a chore. There’s no other way around it. “I needed him to genuinely stand by my ambitions and not just say that he cares,” says Priya, who has been married for five years. “When I was working late nights, it would have been great if he took over dinner, or calmed down our crying daughter instead of me asking him to do all of this.”

Asking ‘batao na, kya help karoon?’ from the sofa isn’t actually helping. That’s just creating another task for her: managing you. So, be a good husband and figure out the chores that need to be done on your own. It’s not that difficult.

Navigating family dynamics

Family dynamics become tricky after marriage. Your wife alone can’t meet everybody’s expectations. Deepti, who’s been married for nine years, shares, “I wish he’d realised that not every expectation from his family needs to be met by me. I am very glad to take care of his parents but they are primarily his responsibility. He too should be putting effort for them.”

Your wife can’t be everything for everyone, so you need to swoop in with rescue plans when your family raises unreasonable demands. These are essential skills, dear boy.

This is obvious but some people need to be told that a wife is a partner. She should have an equal say in all decisions that concern you both. Rekha wishes her husband knew this. “He would often make big decisions assuming he was doing what’s best for us. But that’s something we should have done together,” she says.

You need to adjust too

We’ve all heard it: Ladki ko adjust karna padhta hai. But here’s a revolutionary thought: maybe you need to adjust too? Kavita says, “There were times I just needed him to listen without trying to fix everything. When I vent about my work stress or family issues, it’s not a problem to be solved. I just need to feel heard.” This is a golden marriage tip, boys.

Appreciation goes a long way

More often than not, we take the small things in life for granted but they actually matter the most. After 18 years of marriage, Sarita says she wished her husband knew how much these small words meant to her. “After a long day, a heartfelt ‘thank you’ for the smallest things, even if it’s just making his tea, would make me feel valued.” And she’s not the only one feeling this way. Uma, who has been married for 31 years, wishes the same. “A random hug or a compliment in the middle of a busy week would make me feel special. Those small, unexpected moments are everything.”

Remember, men. It’s not about being the “man of the house” and taking charge of everything. It’s about showing up and being a partner to your wife every day.

Featured Image Source

Related: 5 Health Tests Every Groom Should Take Before The Wedding