Shh. If you are someone who thinks ‘dirty talk’ or ‘sexy talk’ is just good for the screen, you are missing out on a lot. Yep, you don’t have to be Christian Grey to master the art of dirty talking, which in reality can save your relationship from sinking like the Titanic. Talking dirty to your partner can flip the switch in your intimate relationships, and if you don’t want to have a dry spell, I say you start using that mouth for good. So, if you want to arouse your partner but feel silly or don’t know how to begin the conversation, you’re in the right place. Here’s your easy guide on how to talk dirty and use your words to get things hot and happening.

What is dirty talk?

First things first, make sure you and your partner know what’s going on. Or if you think this is something they’ll like, you can surprise them with a sexy, fun chat and get things going. But what exactly is dirty talk? Imagine everything you desire, things you want to try with your partner, and how all those things make you feel. Now, put those thoughts into words with a touch of romance, some visual references, a little flirting, and some whispering. Yep, whispering makes everything sexier. You must think of it as a fun conversation with your partner and not stress too much on forming sentences or sounding sultry. Sure, having a subtle tone and being respectful and consensual towards each other will get you far, but don’t let that put performance pressure on you.

Dirty talking is about sharing an intimate and immersive experience with your partner and should not feel silly or forced. For that to happen, you can start by sending some flirty texts to your partner and build on it when you guys hit the bed. This will bring in a sense of continuity and not make it feel out of place.

How to talk dirty

The million-dollar question – how do you talk dirty? Take a deep breath, love; it is just you and your partner. If you have never tried this before, you might feel nervous at first. The whole idea of dirty talk is based on how comfortable you are with your partner. Your communication skills will come in handy here, so use them wisely. Start with subtle, non-sexual things, and once you both are vibing, you could use a little more sexual chatting depending on your comfort level.

You could simply tell them how you feel about trying something new and how they feel about talking dirty to you. Now, let the conversation flow and add flirty remarks to keep it light and fun. Once you sense your partner is into it, you can start asking questions to keep the conversation flowing smoothly. Ask questions like, “How does it feel when we do this?”, “Do you like it when I do this to you?”, “Is there something you wanna try?” and so on. Just keep in mind that this is a shared experience, and everyone involved should feel safe and at ease and should be able to express their thoughts fully. If at any point the conversation starts feeling uncomfortable, switch the topic to something light and try it another time.

Tips to sound confident, not cringe

Now that you have a fair understanding of the concept, let’s talk about doing it with confidence. It’s normal to feel nervous thinking about how you might sound or come across to your partner. Will it sound dirty enough, or will it make you sound cringe and like you’re trying too hard? Stop stressing and try these tips.

1. You need to keep it simple and not sound scripted

Think about having a simple, flirty conversation with your partner, and don’t go on the internet looking for cheesy lines to throw at them. Simply state things in an open, communicative manner and wait for them to respond. For example, saying something like ‘I want you to touch me at xyz place’ or ‘I wish we would try xyz tonight’ are simple enough phrases to start an intimate conversation with your partner. Then, just go with the flow and remember to have fun.

2. Compliment them to boost their confidence

Stating what you love about them and what they do to you could boost your confidence in bed. It could be an act, or you could simply compliment a body part that you love; even their eyes are a good start. For example, ‘I love when you kiss my neck’, or ‘Your perfume drives me insane’, or ‘It turns me on when you do xyz’, will make your partner feel seen and confident. This will make them more open to keep doing those things or even trying something new.

3. Do not get inspired by p*rn

See, there is a difference in sounding hot, sultry, and romantic and using quotes inspired by adult books, movies, and shows. But using p*rn as inspiration for your dirty talk will probably tick off your partner. So, use erotica as your inspiration to make smart, sassy, and sexy conversations, but refrain from using derogatory language.

4. Watch a sexy movie/show together

The easiest way to learn how to talk dirty without making things awkward is having a sexy movie or show playing in the background. You can simply pick topics from there and start a conversation of your own. Say a particular scene is really steamy, so nudging your partner and just saying, ‘I would love to try this with you,’ could escalate things really quickly for you guys.

5. Tease your partner

See, you can’t just start talking dirty out of the blue. A good way to go about this would be to set the mood. Start by sending them risky and flirty texts throughout the day and keep up the conversation all the way to bed. This will allow you both to feel more comfortable, and you could put some of those texts to action after teasing each other all day.

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