Sex is great, but sharing your sexual fantasies with your partner can seem awkward, especially if they are a little too taboo. But as long as there is consent between the partners, nothing is off-limits when it comes to your bedroom game. Besides, talking about your fantasies might take your relationship to a whole new level. So, if you are wondering how to approach your partner with your sexual fantasies, we’ve got a few tips.

1. Test the waters

If beating around the bush was ever acceptable, this is it. Instead of bombarding your partner with a detailed list of your fantasies, test the waters first. Start with “Hey, have you ever thought of experimenting in the bedroom?” This way, there won’t be any pressure on you or your partner. And if this also sounds like a task, start a conversation about something you did in the past like, “Remember the time we tried…?

2. Don’t put yourself in the spot

Instead of jumping into a fantasy with your partner, try using books, movies or even music as a starter. If your fantasy is having a threesome, use something you read as a reference and start a conversation about a threesome. Maybe ask your partner what they would do in a similar situation, and then go from there.

3. Use sexual games

Games like sex cards or board games are a great way to explore new things. You might not find your exact fantasy printed on the card, but it’ll be a starting point. If your partner is comfortable with this idea, slip your actual fantasy into the conversation or even mould the one on the cards. You can easily find these games on websites like Pratiharye and IMbesharam.

4. Normalise the topic

Honey, if you don’t normalise sexual conversations, awkwardness will be your BFF. Talk about sex and sexual intimacy now and then. Your fantasies are not an ugly crime you can’t talk about; they are just desires that you want to fulfil with the person you love. Once you make sexual conversations normal, it gets pretty easy to talk about fantasies and experimentation as well.

5. Timing is everything

While normalising sexual conversations is important, timing is everything. You can’t throw a “Babe, are you interested in role-playing?” in the middle of the day. Start the conversation when you are having a cosy evening or laughing your heart out. Saying risqué things after a good laugh makes them less risky.

6. Let the internet help a little

If you’re a nervous wreck who can’t say it to the face, let memes be your best friends. Share a light-hearted meme with your partner or articles like these to gauge their interest in your desires. It is a good starting point, but don’t depend on online conversations. After this icebreaker, have a good talk in person. Nothing is more intimate and real than a face-to-face conversation.

7. It’s a fantasy, not an obligation

Here comes the important part. When you are talking about your fantasies, make sure to tell them that it’s not a demand. Do not make them feel like it’s a checkbox in your to-do list that has to be ticked. Just put your idea on the table and let them respond. If you are empathetic, chances are they’ll open up about their wild thoughts too, and what’s better than that?

8. Be prepared

This is pretty obvious, but it’s always good to communicate, right? Your partner might not be up for a role play where you are a cavewoman, and he’s an explorer, and that’s alright. You might feel bad if they say no, but don’t sulk or be mad at them. It will just push them away, and nobody wants that. And I bet if you gracefully take their No, it’ll make them love you a little more!

Talking about sexual fantasies doesn’t have to turn into a cringe-fest. All you have to do is be patient, empathetic and nonjudgemental and it’ll turn into a playful and intimate part of your relationship.

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