We all are fans of fairy tales, where star-crossed lovers overcome all obstacles and live happily ever after, especially after being apart for years. So, when Hollywood big shots Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got married in 2022 after being apart for 20 years, it gave hope to the romantics that second chances do work. Until JLo filed for a divorce. Well, that hope was short-lived. So, now, we are back to square one and wondering — is it a good idea to give your ex a second chance?

I know all of us have, at some point, thought about getting back with an ex because, let’s be honest, loneliness is not a charming look on anybody. But before you hail that taxi to knock on your ex’s door in the pouring rain, take a minute to think if rekindling old flames is a good idea. Or will it leave you with third-degree burns?

1. Nostalgia is a mind game

You remember the good times, the jokes they cracked and that perfect vacation that made you realise they were the one. When your ex comes back, all the good memories come rushing. Suddenly, you forget how offensive the jokes were and why you broke up with them in the first place. And nostalgia, like a sneaky enemy, puts on rose-tinted glasses over your eyes so the burns feel like shooting stars in a dark sky.

2. There is a reason they are your ex

Relationships end for a reason. Back in the day, you probably analysed everything before calling it quits. It could be different life goals, communication patterns or love language. And most likely, nothing has changed now either. Sure, time changes people, but more often than not, personalities don’t change, so the issues that led you to break up still exist somewhere deep, just waiting to crawl back at the first sign of trouble.

3. Second chances come with expectations

Once you are back with your ex, all eyes are on you because now, you have to prove that it is nothing short of cosmic love. You are on a mission to prove that the breakup was just a mistake.

It might seem pretty good in the beginning, but this added pressure leads to forced compromises and suppressing issues. And voila, you are back to square one with the same stress and frustration from the old relationship. 

4. The road not taken

Rewriting the ‘What ifs‘ in your head makes you feel great. It’s addictive, and you constantly feel like you have control over what happened in the past. It’s like a hamster running on a wheel; you might be running insanely fast, but you’re not actually going anywhere. So, giving yourself false hopes of a future that never happened isn’t a good idea.

5. Let bygones be bygones

I know it seems like a good idea to fall into familiar arms when life offers turbulence, but just tighten your seatbelt and chant Hanuman Chalisa, like any normal person. There’s enough fish in the sea; go meet them. Moving on helps you grow and find someone who fits better with the person you are now. While the idea of reuniting might seem like a romcom coming to life, don’t forget it is a genre of fiction. 

So, when you feel the temptation to run back to your ex, remember — like reheated pizza, it might seem like the best thing at 2 AM, but you’ll only regret it in the morning. Live by Priyanka Chopra’s words — Don’t read your books backwards.

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