Recently, one of my loyal bachchas told me about the male loneliness epidemic. Apparently, men are very, very lonely now because women are not giving them bhaav. And even though women are not giving them bhaav, the lonely men are expecting women to fix this “epidemic” instead of finding out why women don’t want to engage with them anymore. Then another bachcha told me that the real epidemic is female loneliness aka women who stay single because the quality of single men out there is in the gutter. I heard both sides patiently and then gave both bachchas a whack on the head. Because an actual loneliness epidemic has always existed in this country but no one has really bothered to address it. Forget about single men and single women, the loneliest people in the world are stay-at-home mothers. Here’s why.

Everyone goes out for the day. She stays at home

And contrary to your papa’s belief, she doesn’t watch TV all day. She makes sure your home runs seamlessly so that you nalaayaks can come home and just dump yourself in front of her. Dinner jaadu se toh banta nahi hai na groceries khud chalke ghar aati hain. Even if she is Blinkiting everything, your mummy is the one who decides ki kya aur kitna chahiye. Khud karke dikhao kabhi.

Everyone mocks her calls with her siblings or friends

Reels pe reels, memes pe memes, jokes hi jokes about her video calls. Have you considered that maybe these calls are what is keeping her sane? The only contact she has with people who knew her before she became wife and mother to ungrateful toads. The only contact she can have with her family and friends because aapko chhod ke nahi jaa sakti. Who will feed you, clothe you and make you capable of “conquering the world”? She may not have a corporate job but your mummy needs work life balance too. Yes, you are her unpaid job without any perks.

Her husband is either silent or condescending

And you giggle with him about her. “Dekho, mummy kaise bolti hain?” or “Mummy ko kya pata about how to handle bosses?” She hears all that sniggering you do with your papa but she doesn’t say anything. You know why? Because your papa has probably already done the damage to her self-confidence years ago, long before you came along. And you’re happy to just add to the condescension.

She calls you to check on you…only to get an irritated outburst from you

Do baar call kar liya toh kaunsi landslide ho gayi aapke office desk pe? All she is doing is checking on you in her own way. She didn’t have the option of hanging up on you when you threw tantrum after tantrum or nearly failed in school. She didn’t have the luxury of saying, “Kya hai? Busy hoon, baad mein baat karti hoon.” So, why do you get to hang up on your mother and not give her 10 minutes of your day? Hmm?

The lonely women in India are not the ones who are single and living alone. The loneliest women in India are the ones with husbands and children, the ones who live in a crowd and yet never get heard. So, check on your moms, bachche, before reposting another international article with a juicy headline on the male/female loneliness epidemic.

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