Bore nahi hote aap Bollywood pregnancy rumours se? Katrina Kaif wears oversized clothing in July-August ki garmi…and boom! She’s pregnant! I’m hoping Kat ignored all these “pregnancy announcements” and just carried on being the queen she is. But I choose to not ignore any of this on behalf of all the childfree people out there. Not all bachchas want their own bachchas, and it’s time for the world to accept this as a normal thing. To do that, start with the basics and stop saying these things to people who don’t have children.

“Loose kapde pehne hain, pregnant hogi.”

How many times have we heard this in offices or at home from our relatives? Loose kapde pehen liye June-July-August ki suffocating humid heat mein, toh pregnancy announce ho jaati hai. Are non-pregnant women not allowed to be comfortable? Must we always be seen in bodycon dresses? Brands that make oversized linen shirts and cotton palazzos don’t market them for pregnant women alone, so why do we assume that only pregnant women wear loose clothing?

“Why do you need to buy such a big house? You don’t even have kids.”

You make a life-changing decision, and instead of congratulating you, people start questioning your choices as a childfree person. Itna bada ghar ya itni luxurious gaadi ka kya karna hai “if you don’t have kids”? Why? Don’t people without children deserve to live in the best kind of house they can afford? Don’t people without kids like roomy, luxurious modes of transport? Is having a child a necessary qualification for people to enjoy their own money?

“I have to go home early today. I have to take my child to dance class. Can you make this 50-page report please?”

Another thing I really dislike is how people expect those without children to work extra and harder, as if they have nothing to do outside of normal work hours. Bachche nahi hain, toh sabka kaam thodi na kar lenge. People who choose not to have children don’t do this out of any love and sacrifice for people who are parents. They are not renouncing parenthood so that they can compensate for those who decided to birth children. They are not having kids to be able to do whatever they want in their free time. As a parent, you chose to have kids. So now deal with the consequences of your actions on your own without expecting your childfree colleagues to step in for you.

“Who are you even earning for? Who will look after you when you’re old? So selfish to not have kids!”

As far as I remember, our sarkaar does not fund everyone’s retirement. That’s what we work for – to have a comfortable retirement, not worry about money, and to be able to pay for good healthcare. Also, childfree people are far less selfish than parents who birth kids assuming they’ll be their nurses in old age. At least childfree people recognise that caregiving should be paid work instead of expecting your child to give up everything and look after you.

“How will the family name live on?”

This is toh my all-time favourite line! Like I always say, bachche, har vansh aagey badhaane laayak nahi hota. If someone is choosing to be childfree, part of their reasoning can also be a traumatic childhood and toxic parenting. Unko yeh legacy aagey nahi badhaani, apne saath hi khatam karni hai. And that, according to me and every sane person I’ve met, is a very smart decision.

If you meet someone who doesn’t have children, stop yourself from commenting on their life and just focus on your own. It’s not that hard, you know. Be brave.

Related: Joining The “Family Business” As A Bahu: What Every Woman Must Know