This week is going to be all sorts of crazy as we will be smoothly (fingers crossed) transitioning from the fiery and fun Leo season to the calm and organised Virgo season. Here’s your horoscope for August 21-27.

1. Aries (March 21–April 19)

To do or not to do has never been a dilemma for you, Aries. So, be wise and pick smartly. It is time to get back in your element and do your thang. Whether it is a work affair or a personal one, we’ve had enough of you being a calm listener. It is time to get down to some action because you’ve been sitting on the benches for too long now. And if you don’t wanna get rusty, you gotta buck up and get back in the game.

AAE Pro Tip: Your dating game is also getting rusty, time to get on a dating app and see if you’ve still got it.

2. Taurus (April 20–May 20)

Having a hard time setting a productive schedule for yourself that includes five hours of scrolling through reels? Well, that does sound tough but not unachievable. I have faith in your useless skills and I know you’ll be able to manage. Speaking of useless skills, did you really try to match your ex with someone knowing fully well you aren’t over them? Tough game, Mother Teresa, but please stop ffs.

AAE Pro Tip: You think nobody is noticing those long-ass washroom breaks? Wait for your review meeting, babe.

3. Gemini (May 21–June 20)

The horoscope for August 21-27 wants you to let loose, dear Gemini. You have been buried in work and discussions all of last week, so take a break. This week is all about doing things that you enjoy. Whether it is spying on your neighbours, making an adult version of iced tea, or having a concert in the shower, just have fun. And if things get too rough, chugging wine straight from the bottle will always be a good solution.

AAE Pro Tip: You might feel like exploring the shelves of your kitchen, but this is a good week to just order in.

4. Cancer (June 21–July 22)

Dear Cancer, I hate to burst your bubble, but not everyone around you is a red flag. Yeah, the majority of people are, but have you considered that you also fall into that majority sometimes? Well, save the huge gasp because it is time to face your own truth. You might go on the internet calling people toxic all day but you aren’t any better sometimes. A little acceptance could really do you some good and a reality check is long overdue anyway.

AAE Pro Tip: You might want a tub of ice cream to cool off from all the introspection.

5. Leo (July 23–August 22)

Dear Leo, birthday season might be coming to an end but don’t stop being the main character. The horoscope for August 21-27 wants to remind you to keep being your own cheerleader and buying yourself expensive stuff. And if someone calls you out, let them cry, you enjoy your retail therapy and don’t pay heed.

AAE Pro Tip: The week might feel like you could use a bottle of bubbly to get through. 

6. Virgo (August 23–September 22)

Happy birthday season, my lovely Virgos! The craziness is finally settling down and the calm earth season will soon be taking over. But this week, you have a free pass for wild behaviour as we are still transitioning from the Leo season. So yeah, you can leave that almirah messy and unorganised and not feel guilty about it. You can also have one whole cheese pizza and garlic bread on the side without worrying about all the ‘eat clean’ nonsense.

AAE Pro Tip: Why stop at having a whole pizza when you can wine things up in the name of birthday season?

7. Libra (September 23–October 22)

Dear Libra, I know we are entering Virgo season, but yours is next in line and you better start worrying about it already looking at the history of your birthdays. Everyone is expecting a gala this time too, so you might want to save some extra bucks. But don’t let this stress you out because it will eventually lead to one massive zit on your face. So, try some skincare and self-care this week.

AAE Pro Tip: It’s wise to stay away from red flags. But then again, you don’t strike me as the wise type. 

8. Scorpio (October 23-November 21)

The horoscope for August 21-27 wants you to chant the mantra–This week is going to be my bitch. Because you see, manifestation is the jugaad you need for all the syaapa in your life. Now don’t try your luck too hard and start praying for millions to drop into your lap. Let’s go for things that are easily attainable and less disappointing than the face of that colleague you have to see every day. You got this.

AAE Pro Tip: People seem less annoying when you are two glasses of G&T down. 

9. Sagittarius (November 22–December 21)

Are you debating what to do next in your life when you barely know what to have for your next meal? Don’t stress your small little pea-sized brain and put so much pressure on it. What you should be thinking about are good happy thoughts like how your boss is going to be off your ass and planning and actually executing a vacation. Your bae acting all nice is not always them being sus, sometimes it’s just sweet.

AAE Pro Tip: Wear your rose-coloured sunglasses, not to ignore red flags, but to eye roll peacefully. 

10. Capricorn (December 22–January 19)

The horoscope for August 21-27 is kinda gonna be extremely busy, hectic, and crowded. Yeah, everything you absolutely hate. So, how do you keep your calm when all you want to do is lash out and tell people to fuck off? You might be thinking green tea will help, but darling, even straight vodka is not going to cut it this time. So, do what you do best, pretend to be interested and zone out.

AAE Pro Tip: It is a good week to catch up on some reading to avoid brainless people. 

11. Aquarius (January 20–February 18)

It’s not new for you to have erratic patterns and schedules, but please don’t think it’s healthy. Staying up for three days straight on caffeine is not really a flex, you know? So, fix your schedule as things are about to change for you. This week is all about getting to know what you desire and working on getting it. Not your ex though, because that ship has sailed. Let this energy be the changing point and guide you through things that are ‘complicated’.

AAE Pro Tip: Start changing those bed sheets and doing your laundry to feel like you’ve understood adulting. 

12. Pisces (February 19–March 20)

This week seems like a good time to tell people to fuck off and mind their own goddamn business. Sometimes, in life, we must upgrade ourselves and stop taking shit from people around us. Anybody who can’t respect or support your decisions isn’t supposed to be a part of your life. But this doesn’t include your boss because you don’t want to lose your precious job. So, tolerate that boss but nobody else. And oh, your mom.

AAE Pro Tip: Speaking of upgrading in life, it’s time to move out of your situationship. 

Do you think clocking in extra hours at work voluntarily will get you rewarded? You’re not loyal, you’re hilarious. Have a lovely week ahead.