Bachche, you might think that you only need your husband to be a good father. But in reality, you need your mother-in-law to be a good grandmother too. After all, she will be one of the biggest influences in your child’s life, so you need her to be on your side. If you’re thinking of having a baby, you need to take a good, long look at your in-laws and factor them in before making this huge, life-changing decision. And because this is such a significant event in life, your dearest Aunty Eve is here to help you out. You already know the signs of a bad grandmother, I’m sure. So, here are the signs that your mother-in-law will be a good grandmother.

She raised her son right

Which means that she didn’t raise him as a raja beta. She raised him to be a normal child who turned into a normal adult. She didn’t make her son believe that the world is blessed by his presence and his wife must worship the ground he walks on. Just because he was born with “jewels”.

She doesn’t keep telling you to have kids

Since she didn’t raise her own son as a prince, she won’t be devastated by the lack of an heir. She doesn’t think that your only goal in life should be to continue the bloodline. It might sound contrary to you, bachche, but good grandmas aren’t the ones who are desperate for grandkids. Good grandmas are the ones who treat their daughters-in-law like humans and not as baby machines.

She tells relatives to mind their own business

One of the biggest signs of a good grandmother is that she doesn’t let her own relatives get away with taaney, no matter how subtle. She doesn’t let them say anything to you and protects you like her own. This is not only the sign of a great mother-in-law but also of a good grandmother. She won’t let anyone tell you how to raise your child if you do decide to have one. And she won’t let anyone be mean to your child.

She reminds you to put yourself first

If your mother-in-law always tells you to take care of yourself first, she will be a good grandmother. She will help you out whenever you need and not just when it’s convenient for her. She will actually act on “tum paida karlo, main sambhaal lungi” instead of just sitting with a sleeping baby in her lap and handing the baby to you as soon as the child stirs.

For more tips, tricks, and tippani, follow Aunty Eve on Instagram. And if you want to hear real stories and solutions to every kind of shaadi kalesh, tune into Saas, Bahu And Aunty Eve, an anonymous podcast for every woman who is about to get married or has been married for years. Listen to the podcast on YouTube and Spotify!

Related: Signs Your Girlfriend Is Wife Material: Expert Tips