I love secrets, bachche. I live for them. But not a secret second marriage. Why do some men feel the need to have alternate realities? Waise toh all shaadi jokes are about how marriage ruins men and their peaceful, joyous lives. Then why do some of you feel the need to run two marriages simultaneously? Is this masochism or a hunger so intense ki ek dahej se pet nahi bharta? If you think this is some sort of joke, listen to this bachcha’s horrifying true story. The man she married already had an unsuspecting wife and child. Here’s how this new bride found out…and how her pyaare, pyaare rishtedaars reacted.

 

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This man decided every day to defraud two women and his child and lived as if this was perfectly normal. I have nothing to say for men like him. However, I do have a lot to say for the relatives who think izzat is above all else. They’re the least izzatdaar people, if you ask me. And here’s how you should deal with them.

How to handle toxic relatives who only care about izzat and not about you

Turn the izzat focus on them

Call out their outfits, their haircuts, the way they walk, the way they sit and make everything about izzat. “Itne chhote baal? Hamaari izzat ke khilaaf hai”, “Itna tight kurta? Izzat can’t handle, “Aise taangein phaila ke kaun baithta hai, Chachaji? Izzat ka khayaal nahi hai aapko?” You get the gist. If these people could prioritise izzat at a time when they should be supporting her and helping her heal, I can only imagine how they talk to the other girls of the family. So, to protect yourself and your younger sisters and nieces, turn the tables of izzat on them.

Shame these relatives on social media

This will be super offensive but darr ko rakho side mein and protect yourself. Put your relatives’ exact quotes on your stories and tag them. If you want, you can also post a picture of the moment. Shove a camera in their face as soon as they mention izzat. Bohot bawaal hoga but at least people will stop saying things to you fearing the consequences. They’ll still talk about you but that’s a risk you take when you’re an iconic diva.

Keep your family away from them

Force your parents to cut ties if you have to. Block them on their phones and forbid them from talking to these makkhis. These relatives will suck your blood and not even give you two loving words in return. They don’t deserve to be close to you or your family.

It’s very simple, bachche. Protect yourself before all else. And don’t listen to your relatives’ ridiculous rebound shaadi advice. Go out and live your life.

For more tips and tricks, follow Aunty Eve on Instagram.

Related: ‘Caught My Husband On A Dating App’: Tips On What To Do When Husband Cheats