Gently is the keyword here, bachche. Because if there’s anything 2025 has taught me, it’s that I am my most precious possession. And I plan to take care of myself like never before in 2026. So, like every year, I made a list of resolutions for 2026 that I hope will motivate you too.

Here are Aunty Eve’s resolutions for the new year.

I will judge people more

Some people just aren’t judged enough, bachche. Like my MIL. All she needs to do is exist peacefully but that goes against her very nature. Kalesh is her first, middle, and last name. I think I have done a disservice to myself and the world by being a bit too nonchalant in 2025. So, in 2026, people like my kaleshi saas will be judged more.

I will be more self-centred

If I don’t like it, I’m not going to do it. And if I like it, I will do it as much as I want. One of my main resolutions for 2026 is to be known as selfish and self-centred. And I hope this reputation is known far and wide so that no one expects me to “adjust” for them.

I will take no for an answer

Bachche, I don’t understand this unnecessarily feisty attitude of not taking no for an answer. I get it when it’s about your career or anything that is very dear to you. Like the last delicious gulab jamun. If someone tries to deny this to you, do not take no for an answer. But if someone just doesn’t want to be with you or around you, please take their no as a very legitimate answer and move on. In 2026, hum kisi ke peechhe nahi padenge.

I will perfect my death stare

Practice makes perfect. And I think my death stare is pretty great already but it’s not 100 per cent there yet. Yesterday, I couldn’t scare a screaming kid into keeping quiet and that is a devastating failure for me. So, one of my resolutions for 2026 is to devote four to five hours of my day to practise my death stare. This is about my reputation after all.

I will think at least 10 times before the word ‘sorry’ escapes my lips

I’ve had enough of women saying ‘sorry’ for absolutely nothing at all, bachche. I am also guilty of it. I never hear men apologise this much even when they should be saying ‘sorry’ at least 127 times a day. So now, I’m not going to make ‘sorry’ my default reaction. “Sorry, I’m in your way”, “Oh sorry, I interrupted you”, “I’m sorry but I just don’t agree” – no, none of this. If I’m in your way, move. If I interrupted you, you can resume when I’m finished. And if you and I disagree, I’m right.

I will not hold myself accountable based on a random list of “resolutions”

Banaa toh li resolutions for 2026, but am I going to hold myself accountable to them in December 2026? No, bachche. Absolutely not. They’re my resolutions, I can change them whenever I want. I can do them, not do them, half-ass them, or forget all about them by January 15. Who cares?

Jo karna hai karo, beta ji. You know yourself best and you know what’s right or wrong for you. Resolutions can be made again for 2027. Happy new year, bachchas!

More from Aunty Eve:

The Big Fat Indian Wedding: Who Is It Really For?

What Every Woman Should Learn From The Smriti Mandhana-Palash Muchhal Wedding Fiasco

Signs Your Mother-In-Law Will Be A Good Grandmother: Expert Advice

“Adjust Kar Lo, Tum Samajhdaar Ho”: What To Do When You’re Always Expected To Compromise

“My Husband Had A Secret Family And My Relatives…”: When A Woman’s Nightmare Came True