Hello ji, beta ji. It is almost 2025 which means it is time to make promises to ourselves that we will forget by January 7. This year though, I am determined to make my New Year’s resolutions come true. It’s all about being realistic, bachche. I’m not going to make some massive commitment like drinking three litres of water every day or not gossiping about people. So, here are my resolutions for 2025 to inspire you to make your own.

Get my share of trendy supplements

I have all the omegas and the vitamins covered. My little birdies tell me that magnesium and zinc are the hot new supplements out there. So, like a true it girl, I’m going to find the brand with the least colour on its packaging (the serious brands don’t like joy) and the trendiest supplement combination. I’m going to be so well supplemented in 2025, bachche. Koi doctor deficiency nikaal ke toh dekhe.

Build muscle

I see so many aunties (older aunties) on my Instagram these days lifting weights and going all John Abraham in the gym. So why not me? I should also build muscle and show off my bicep-tricep at the next satsang. I also heard that the coolest aunties can lift half their body weight and walk around. Usme thoda time lagega but your dear Aunty Eve will be walking around in the park holding 20 kg dumbbells by December 2025. Just you watch me.

Find better neighbours

As you know, beta ji, I struggle with Mrs Duggal. Sometimes, her doggy is doing potty in front of my gate and sometimes, she’s just breathing so loud sitting in her house. All I want to do is throw her off our shared chhat but since I won’t do well in jail, I have decided to “encourage” her to move out and find better neighbours for myself. All I have to do is get my own dogs with digestive issues and park them in front of her gate. If that doesn’t get her to leave, I don’t know what will.

Try Botox

As you know, I am a natural beauty. But what is the harm in enhancing this bhagwan ka diya hua noor? After all, God only helps those who help themselves. If I want to continue looking drop-dead gorgeous, I have to lend a helping hand also na. So, this year, I am going to try Botox and maybe fillers also. Maybe if I inject enough into my forehead, my face will stop giving away what I truly think about some people.

Build my savings and investment portfolio

As part of my resolutions for 2025, I have decided to get serious about my finances. And big changes are coming for me. Now, I will only shop during discounts and sales. No more random shopping in the most expensive months of the year. Yeh ho gayi savings. As for investment, I will invest in my happiness during all the sales of the year. Happiness is the actual wealth, my dear.

Happy new year, bachchas. Let’s make sure 2025 is a little less of a panauti than 2024.

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