Bachche, I’ve been talking about the Raja Beta Syndrome for a long time now. Everyone I meet gets a dose from me when they make their bahu pick up after their son or tell their daughter to look after her elder brother. But I realise that I’m wrong. All this time, I’ve been talking about how tough it is for women to handle raja betas. But women are not the victims here, men are. Women do everything for them because we just assume they can’t. Offensive! Here’s why we need to stop infantilising men and holding them back from living their lives fully.

Not allowed to do his own laundry

Dirty laundry, like garbage, can tell a lot about a person. Especially about their night-time “habits”. Now imagine what a man goes through when his mummy goes through his laundry basket every day without thinking about what he might want to, or should, keep private. We let women do their own laundry, handle their own undergarments, and rifle through everyone else’s laundry too, but men never get that freedom. Poor things!

Can’t cook what he wants the way he wants

Pehle mummy bana kar deti hai, phir behen, and ultimately, biwi breakfast, lunch, dinner bana kar saamne rakh deti hai. But do any of these women ever ask the man if he wants to cook a meal? No, women keep that pleasure to themselves. What if the laadla of the house doesn’t like his pasta with tomato gravy? What if he wants to add more garlic to the sauce himself? Does anyone even give him the option of cooking? No. Bechare boys!

Never allowed to seek help for mental health

Whether he throws a tantrum or just gives everyone the silent treatment at home, the women of the house will adjust their entire routines and smack kids into staying quiet so that the laadla’s mood doesn’t get worse. But does anyone tell him that he has rage issues and should seek professional help? No. The entire household will walk on eggshells around the affected man instead of telling him the truth and helping him. No mental health for men?

Always the secondary parent

Ah, fathers! The category of men that never gets any recognition. Yes, we all love it when he changes one diaper or burps the baby once a week. But what if he wants to change all the diapers? What if he enjoys burping the baby? Do we let him? No. We make him go back to normal life almost immediately after having a baby as if he hasn’t been through a massive change too. What if he wants to be the primary parent instead of his wife overshadowing him all the time? Pure torMENt, I tell you.

This Raja Beta syndrome keeps men from living their lives to the fullest. They never learn how to do anything for themselves or for anyone else. And who wants to live like that? Not grown, sensible men, surely? Right?

For more tips, tricks, and tippani, follow Aunty Eve on Instagram. And if you want to hear real stories and solutions to every kind of shaadi kalesh, tune into Saas, Bahu And Aunty Eve, an anonymous podcast for every woman who is about to get married or has been married for years. Listen to the podcast on YouTube and Spotify!

Related: Signs Of An Unhappy Bride: Aunty Tells All After Decades Of Attending Weddings