Picture this: you’re asleep, one hand on your partner’s back. They’re lying on their stomach, scrolling reels, the phone’s brightness piercing the dark room. Suddenly, a reel plays with the sound on. Now, you’re wide awake, cranky, and can’t get back to sleep. Your partner? A little guilty, but not enough to put the phone away and doze off instantly.

And that’s not all. Some nights they snore, other nights they work late, hog the blanket, or insist on keeping the AC temperature at 18°C. If this is what your nights look like, you need a sleep divorce from your partner. Don’t panic, it’s not an actual divorce.

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What is a sleep divorce?

In a marriage, sleep divorce means a couple chooses to sleep in separate beds or even separate bedrooms to get better rest. But this doesn’t imply that your relationship is ending. Sleep divorce is about prioritising quality sleep, exactly the way you prefer it. This way, you won’t have to argue with your partner about turning their phone volume down, keeping the lights off, not tossing and turning, and anything that can disrupt your sleep. And your partner can also sleep whenever and however they like, without adjusting to you every night.

Is sleep divorce healthy for a relationship, especially for married couples?

Yes, sleep divorce is healthy for many couples in live-in relationships or marriages. According to ResMed’s 2025 Global Sleep Survey, nearly 78 per cent of Indian couples practise sleep divorce. Taking a sleep divorce might feel intimidating or repulsive at first, but once you get your uninterrupted sleep, you’ll love it. According to the Sleep Foundation‘s recent survey, 52.9 per cent of couples who began sleeping apart reported improved sleep quality. They even gained an average of 37 minutes of more sleep every night. The result? Happier mornings, less crankiness, more efficiency at work, and fewer fights.

If you practise sleep divorce with your partner, you might also end up boosting emotional and physical intimacy with them. Sounds paradoxical, right? But it’s true. When you aren’t resentful about late-night arguments regarding disturbed sleep, there’s more patience and warmth in your daytime. You try to be more present with your partner and initiate physical intimacy to connect deeply. So, are you ready to take a sleep divorce from your partner yet?

How to talk to your partner about getting a sleep divorce

Talking to your partner about sleep divorce works best when you frame it as a health issue rather than a relationship problem. Pick a calm moment when they are free to talk to you and better understand your side. Then express how poor sleep is messing with your mood, energy, and health. Make sure you’re not directly blaming them for your disruptive sleep cycles. Try maintaining a collaborative approach that focuses on how sleep divorce is healthy for both partners, not you alone.

First, suggest a two to four week trial period to adjust to the sleep divorce schedule and see if it’s working for both of you. You can also decide if you want to practise sleep divorce on just weeknights, every night, or when they snore too much, stay up late, and so on. Plan little rituals to bond together during the day and before going to your separate beds. You can have morning coffee together, go grocery shopping with them, and initiate hugs, cuddles, and flirting to maintain closeness. So, are you going to try sleep divorce with your partner, or will you pop a tablet again to doze off tonight?

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FAQs

Q1. Is it okay for married couples to sleep apart?

Yes, it’s perfectly okay and often beneficial for married couples to sleep apart if it improves their sleep quality, health, and overall relationship.

Q2. Should fighting couples sleep separately?

If you’re having an argument with your partner, try resolving it instead of sleeping separately. This can fuel separation and more resentment between the two of you.

Q3. Does sleep divorce lead to actual divorce?

No, a sleep divorce doesn’t automatically lead to a real divorce. It only improves the sleep quality of couples practising it.

Q4. Should sleep divorce be temporary or permanent?

Sleep divorce can be temporary or long-term, depending on what works for the couple. You can treat it as a flexible arrangement and adjust over time based on sleep quality and relationship needs.

Q5. How do we practise sleep divorce while travelling?

You can book rooms with connecting doors or suites, or use earplugs/white noise. Schedule snuggle time to ensure you both get quality rest without sacrificing connection.

Q6. Can you get a sleep divorce in small homes?

Yes, you can. Try using separate beds or mattresses in the same room, using different blankets, white noise machines, earplugs or eye masks. You can also sleep on the couch on alternate nights to get uninterrupted rest.