The year 2025 has given us some cute, some cringe-worthy, and some meaningless dating trends. But it looks like we are not done yet. There’s another dating trend in the market; 2026 is going to be the year of ghostlighting. Yep, you read that right. One of the most toxic dating trends of this year might hit you out of the blue and leave you wondering what went wrong. Because modern dating doesn’t end on a ‘clean note’. Sometimes, your relationship vanishes into thin air as your partner goes MIA. This leads to confusion and anguish, and a couple of weeks later, they pop back with a sly ‘Hi’, making you fall down the spiral again. So, before you end up in this situation, here’s what ghostlighting in dating means.

What is ghostlighting in dating?

The manipulative cousin of ghosting, ghostlighting is a toxic dating trend in which one partner disappears without explanation, reappears, and calls you delusional for telling them that they ghosted you. They gaslight you into believing that they didn’t disappear, and even if they did, it didn’t mean anything. So, basically, gaslighting and ghosting had a baby, which has made modern dating a nightmare. When someone disappears randomly and comes back into your life like nothing happened, it makes you wonder if you’re being too dramatic. When in reality, your feelings are being mistreated; there are no apologies, no guilt trips, just plain nonchalant behaviour. This is further fuelled by inconsistency, denial, and your partner’s selective amnesia.

Ghostlighting is a product of a dating culture in which people lack emotional bandwidth and have commitment and trust issues. You might be fluent in therapy and masking your anxiety by claiming to be chill. But you’re just a confused little puppy who’s living on breadcrumbs of attention and moments of warmth in the name of true love. So, when you are ghosted and left feeling delusional or crazy when you did nothing wrong, you start believing everything your partner says instead of trusting your own instincts.

Signs of ghostlighting

Let’s talk about the signs that you constantly ignore in a toxic relationship. Yes, they are right in front of you, but you royally leave them on seen just because you want to give your so-called relationship a try. Here are the signs of ghostlighting you need to stop ignoring.

1. Inconsistency and no accountability

Your partner doesn’t fully leave, but they don’t fully show up either. They hang around when things are comfortable but disappear as soon as effort and consistency are required. This leaves the other partner with no closure, just confusion and drama.

2. Selective disappearance

When things get too real or too vulnerable, instead of sitting down and talking about it, your partner chooses to disappear for weeks on end. They will reappear at their own convenience and just act unbothered and nonchalant, like everything is chill. And the icing on the cake is that they will act confused and mad at you for bringing those conversations up.

3. Delusional behaviour

A major sign of ghostlighting is when your partner makes you question your own feelings and thoughts. They will insist that they didn’t ghost you or that they replied as soon as they could, making you wonder if you’re the one who’s acting up. They will respond with things like ‘You’re overthinking it’ or ‘It wasn’t even that deep.’ Their reality is different from what they try to make you believe, leaving you feeling emotionally confused and having you doubt your own feelings.

4. Hot-and-cold vibes

The classic sign of gaslighting is when your partner gives you hot-and-cold vibes. One day, it’s all hearts and roses, a dinner date, talk of the future, and emotional intimacy at its peak. The next day, it’s radio silence, leaving you on ‘seen’, and not returning your calls. This makes you crave the softer version of them and keeps you invested just enough. The constant push and pull has you chasing them, leaving you emotionally drained.

5. Lowering your standards

Once you are stuck in this loop, you will start being low-key just to keep the relationship going. You will stop double texting, you won’t ask about things that bother you, you will avoid having emotional conversations, and so on. Ghostlighting in dating makes you lower your standards, kill your expectations, and live on the bare minimum. That is not a sign; that is a glaring red flag to exit and stop falling for this type of toxicity.

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