For most of us, cheating is the ultimate relationship red flag, be it emotional or physical. But did you know that most relationships are not broken by a third person? Generally, it’s the two people in the relationship who push it to the edge. It’s the small habits and patterns you don’t even notice. Telling your friends about your relationship problems but never bringing them up with your partner? Constantly doubting your partner’s words even after endless reassurance? Well, cheating might be like ripping a band-aid, but these habits are the actual slow poison, making your relationship rot. So, read on to find out about some of the most toxic relationship habits that could be sneaking into your everyday behaviour and pushing your relationship off the cliff.

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1. You’re venting about your relationship problems outside

Be it to friends or close family, venting about issues with your partner outside can be a toxic relationship habit. Sure, these people feel like a safe space to discuss what goes on between you and your partner, but talking to them won’t solve the issues in your relationship. Instead, make your partner sit with you and vent to them about your issues to actually make progress in your relationship and in life.

2. Watching TV in bed is your idea of quality time

Date nights, coffee runs, and grocery hauls seem like things of the past, and dumping yourself in front of the TV has now become equivalent to spending quality time. Not putting in any effort and letting the spark fade away is the slow poison that will kill your relationship. Sure, a comfy, quiet night in once in a while could be a great way to unwind and spend time together. But if that’s every day, you’re headed in the wrong direction. Low-maintenance relationships are good, but no-maintenance relationships don’t last.

3. You think it’s okay to hide someone from your partner

You might not be talking romantically with this person. You might even scroll up in your chats and convince yourself that it’s harmless. But you still feel the need to hide this person from your partner. Why? What if the tables were turned? What if your partner was talking to someone regularly and didn’t tell you about it? Chatting with them about their day, sharing jokes, and discussing their likes and dislikes? Wouldn’t that make you feel like you’re getting cheated on? This is one of the biggest toxic relationship habits that could create trust issues and eventually an ugly fallout.

4. You deflect from real issues by cracking jokes

Whenever a serious issue comes up that requires you and your partner to sit down and have a conversation, you suddenly turn on your ‘jokes only’ mode. You use humour to dodge real problems since you have a hard time confronting your partner. Not talking about things that matter will only build resentment, shut people down, and make your partner feel abandoned and dismissed. Instead of doing this, be honest with your partner and let them know what makes you uncomfortable. This will allow you both to take the next step and be vulnerable towards each other.

5. You keep track of their mistakes to use them later

Okay, this one is a really petty thing that most of us do to even our score with our partners. But in doing so, we are forgetting that we are supposed to be one team, not individuals pitted against each other. Keeping track of their mistakes and then using them later in an argument could really hurt and shock your partner. This will make them feel smaller, ashamed, and maybe even distant. So, if you want to fix this toxic relationship habit, you just have to be a little more mindful and upfront about things. Use a suggestive tone instead of an accusing tone and let them know how you feel.

6. You assume things about your partner and make decisions without checking with them

Maybe one time your partner didn’t wanna go out on a Saturday and felt like staying in and spending a slow day. But does that mean they want every Saturday to be like that? When you make your own plans assuming they might want to ‘stay in’, you’re taking away their choice. When you cancel invites because you think your partner might want to avoid big scenes, you’re pushing them away and making them feel like their opinion doesn’t matter. Checking in with your partner for the smallest of things will make them feel seen, even if you know what they’d want. Ask them what comfort movie they want to watch even if you know the answer; they might surprise you with a change of plans.

7. You prefer to give your partner the silent treatment even when you’re raging

Keeping your feelings buried when something upsets you is not just a toxic relationship habit, it’s a toxic personality trait too. Putting yourself through something like this makes you full of anger and resentment towards your partner. You keep pushing down those feelings and give your partner the silent treatment for days till the issue fades away. So, instead of torturing yourself and your partner, get mad at them and let them know they messed up. They can take the brunt of their own behaviour sometimes, and maybe next time, they’ll do better knowing something bothers you.

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