Compromise. Every woman’s most hated word because it’s mostly used to shut her up. So when I hear of women being asked to compromise in marriage and adjust kyunki woh samajhdaar hain, I get really angry, bachche. Samajhdaar women don’t compromise on their own happiness because they know how important mental health is. One bachcha faced a similar situation but for dowry. Imagine! Ek toh samajhdaari ki baat karo and then expect her to commit a literal crime by giving dowry. Anyway, this bachcha filed a police complaint because her in-laws’ offence was grave. Listen to her story here.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by Aunty Eve (@theauntyeve)

Not every demand of compromise or adjustment is a criminal offence, unfortunately. It would be in Aunty Eve-istan, but till that becomes a reality, we have to devise new ways to tackle all the compromising and adjusting. Here’s what you should do if you’re told to be “samajhdaar” and adjust to your monsters-in-law.

Throw tantrums like a toddler

For the tiniest of things. Ghar mein coffee khatam ho gayi? Sit on the kitchen floor and cry. They won’t let you watch your show on TV? Throw the remote across the room. When you are questioned about this behaviour – and you will be – just say, “See? Main samajhdaar nahi hoon. How will I compromise? You and your family are actually samajhdaar. Adjust kar lo.”

Show them your “samajhdaari” every day

Act like a simpleton in front of your in-laws and husband. “Kitchen stoves need a phone connection.” “2+2 = 7.” You know what I mean. Be terrible at household hisaab and constantly mix up sugar and salt when you’re cooking. Not only will no one call you samajhdaar, you might land up having a lot of fun every day this way.

Tell your parents everything

Don’t be the “sensible” sacrificial lamb jo choo bhi nahi karti no matter what she’s going through. Bleat loud and clear, bachche. If this is an arranged marriage, tell your parents everything. Even if it’s not and you chose to marry this bewakoof, tell your parents what’s going on. They can be your biggest strength in tackling unpleasant situations. If parents are not an option here, tell your siblings. It’s best to keep your family apprised of the small stuff instead of keeping quiet and then shocking them with news of a divorce.

Make samajhdaari your weapon

When relatives come over, ask them what they would like to drink. Once they choose, tell them to compromise and drink something else. Add “aap samajhdaar nahi ho kya? Samajhdaari is compromise, Chachaji.” Then let’s see your in-laws use your “samajhdaari” against you.

Dekho, bachche. If you’re being asked to compromise in marriage constantly and no one is willing to do the same for you, it’s time you choose yourself and walk out. It’s the only samajhdaar thing to do.

For more tips, tricks, and tippani, follow Aunty Eve on Instagram.

Related: To Every Girl In Her 20s Celebrating Taylor Swift’s Engagement, From Aunty Eve