Beta ji, I recently read the strangest piece of news. One bachcha who founded a company and sold it said that he has so much money that he doesn’t need to work ever and doesn’t know what to do. This good bachcha, Vinay Hiremath, did all the right things and retired early and now he’s…bored? Bhagwan aisi problems sabko de. That is my dua for all of you, sachchi. But till we don’t reach the same levels of joyous boredom, I thought let’s bring him back into the hustle. Here are a few ideas of things to do when you have too much money and no work.

Start a new project, like reducing pollution in Delhi

Ambitious, I know. Almost impossible. But what is impossible for people with 900 million dollars? One giant phoonk is all that is needed to push the polluted air out of Delhi. How you manage that city-wide phoonk is up to you, moneybags. At least, this way, your money will do some good for humanity and its lungs. More than your 27^th nap of the day anyway.

Teach kids about India’s taxation system

If you’ve made so much money that you don’t need to earn any more, I’m sure you know the ins and outs of the taxation system. Haina, bachche? I’m sure you also know some of the shortcuts and peechhe ke darwaaze. Hehehe. Then share your gyaan na. For some reason, our schools refuse to teach kids how to file and evade taxes. So, you need to fill that gap. The CBI or something like that might chase you down, but theek hai na. Cardio mein bhi toh thrill hona chahiye.

Make a movie

And star in it! Is there any better form of entertainment? You can even make a movie about yourself and make an A-lister play you. Who cares if it makes money or not? Which Bollywood movie makes money these days anyway? You can buy out theatres yourself and pretend it’s a blockbuster. Apparently, kaafi logon ne karna shuru kar diya hai yeh sab.

Become a corporate baba

This is the best thing to do when you have too much money and no need to work. Scold other people to work more and more and more. Recent corporate babas have gone viral for advocating 70-hour and 90-hour weeks. You start with 150 hours. Not just viral, you’ll go bacterial also. Corporate mazdoors will curse you every morning, make memes, and write angry posts about you. But at least they’ll make you famous. And that’s the only thing andha paisa wale want.

I think Vinay Hiremath will like these ideas, haina? I would’ve told him to donate his money or create another business, but where’s the sadistic fun in that?

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