You know how much I love drama, bachche. So, obviously, when The Crown came back with a brand new season, I cleared my day and sat down for a lesson in scandalous history. In season 5, Lizzie is falling out of favour with the masses who want to see Diana as queen. Charles is thrilled, of course, because by extension, it means the people want him as King. And he’s happily ignoring all the hate he gets for cheating on Diana with Camilla. The show makers detest him more than I do, I think, at this point.

Anyway, while I was watching The Crown Season 5, I thought I’ll give you my valuable, much-needed insights into the most pivotal moments of the show. Brace yourselves, beta ji.

I feel bad for Charles…in bits

He’s been aiming for the throne for decades. And when he finally got it, well, he was older than his mother was when he thought she should abdicate for a “younger” monarch. Hehehe, how the tables turn, Charlie! Also, did you know that before the Kardashians came along, it was Charles and Camilla who were the king and queen of leaked sex tapes? Hehehe. Watch the show to know what I mean.

I relate to Lizzie

The poor queenie faced all the same problems as me. My body weight also keeps increasing every year even when I eat only dal chawal for days. And queens like us don’t have the time for banal things like exercise! Also, Queen Lizzie and I both struggle with the next generation. Keeping the younger ones in line is so important, but they just don’t listen and want to take over before their time. And like Rani Sahiba, I am also bearing the weight of the world on my achy, greaseless joints.

Our dear Diana should have never married into this dysfunctional family

So sundar, so sanskaari, and married to the most hopeless creature! Even then, she was tough enough to take on the whole royal family, happily rocking the boat even after threats from her father-in-law. I toh have a newfound respect for this creator of global chaos and goddess of revenge dresses. If only she had better luck in love.

Related: Princess Diana In The Crown Season 4 Is The Indian Bahu We All Know

The Al-Fayeds offer life lessons for us all

The ill-fated Dodi Al-Fayed’s father knew exactly how to make inroads with the most elite of the elite. And there are valuable lessons for all of us in the Al-Fayed story. The most important lesson is to make enough money to buy a nation if needed. And all of this money will not come from you scrolling Instagram pretending to look busy for your boss. Get back to work, bachche! Hustle, as you young ones say.

“Jitne muh, utni baatein“

There is so much desi-ness in The Crown S5 and not because they talk about how much their ancestors stole from us. It’s because of the Pakistani-British doctor Hasnat Khan, Diana’s one true love, and the journalist, Martin Bashir, who basically took advantage of the sweet princess but gave the world an interview that is still the mother of all scandals.

By the way, I still send the link to this interview to my MIL as a subtle threat every time she’s snarky with me. Works every time.

“Aunty always knows best”

Did you know that the BBC was nicknamed Aunty? No, I had nothing to do with it, but the wise people who came up with this name did so because “aunty always knows best”. And there is nothing more you need to know to have a happy, successful life. Just listen to Aunty (Eve).

They haven’t reached the day of Diana’s tragic death in this season. So, there will be no bawling this time. However, since we all know what is coming, the sadness of the finale of The Crown Season 5 is quite devastating. Watch the show within a day, like me, and tell me what you think, bachche.

Related: #AskAuntyEve: Inside Scoop From The Royal Family After They Watched The Crown

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