Hey there, darlin’, is your new relationship giving you butterflies in the stomach or causing you anxiety and fear? If it’s the latter, chances are you are afraid of commitment, my dear. If the very thought of a relationship has you breaking out in hives, you are in for some trouble. A little hesitation while starting a new relationship is quite common. But if the suggestion of a relationship gives you sleepless nights, then you are a commitment-phobe, poppet. And if you are wondering what the signs of commitment phobia look like, Madam Eve will lay it all out for you.
Casual is your default setting
There’s nothing wrong with a casual relationship, darlin’, but if that’s all you do, gotta say, you are commitment-phobic. It’s understandable if you want to keep things casual when you move somewhere new or if you are trying to find your footing in a new job. But, if you ALWAYS keep things casual, there’s a problem, poppet.
You have a huge wall surrounding you
Vulnerability is not your strong suit, sugar. Your walls are higher than the Great Wall of China. Deep, heartfelt conversations are not part of your relationship either, because running away from emotions is what you do best. If you are caged inside walls of your own making, it’s a classic sign of commitment phobia, dearie.
You are afraid of getting hurt
Now, now, now. Most people are afraid of getting hurt, but not everyone runs away from relationships because of that. You are most likely a once-bitten, twice-shy kinda person, and that could be an issue. Relationships are not perfect, but if you are chasing perfection, maybe being commitment-phobic is a better option after all. Just because you fell once, it doesn’t mean you don’t get up again. Apply the same logic to relationships, poppet.
You find a way to self-sabotage
Self-sabotage is the biggest tool in a commitment-phobe’s arsenal. You are always looking for ways to ruin your relationship. And if things are going well, you can’t let that happen, can you? You are so terrified things will end, that even if your relationship is fine, you will find a reason to break up.
You don’t think about the future
Any healthy, loving relationship includes talk of the future. Where you want to go, whether you want to move in together, have kids together, or the like. The one thing commitment-phobes love is avoiding any talk of the future. Do you do that too, my little commitment-phobic singleton?
Listen, commitment phobia can be due to a bad past relationship, trauma, or something else you have experienced before. This can be in a romantic relationship or otherwise as well. Therapy and actively working towards changing how you look at relationships can help you overcome this obstacle. But if your fear of relationships is not something you want to work on, you do you, poppet! But remember, it’s not anybody else’s responsibility to heal your scars. You gotta do that yourself. Got that, sugar?
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