March 25, 2017

Your social media is full of people going out to party at any and every chance they get. And you just can’t come to terms with all the extravaganza happening around.

Do you feel a secret pleasure when a well-made plan gets cancelled at the last moment? Are you the friend who spoils it for the entire gang? Do you find a sense of liberation and ease in staying indoors on the weekend?

If the answer to the above is yes, then you have been hit by ‘social menopause’. It sure has arrived early for those of you who are in their mid-twenties, but it is here. The most common symptom of this quarter-life crisis is that the things you deemed to be fun have started to make you feel exhausted. You have turned into that indoor cat who wants to spend spare time reading, or thinking, or talking to someone one-on-one, Netflix-ing or relaxing with a cup of tea.

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Symptoms might include:

1. Fear of a hangover

You’ve started to get scared of the morning-after phase so much that it is now strong enough to outweigh the fear of missing out on a fun night.

2. Turned Into A Morning Person

You’ve become the early Sunday morning jogger that pities the party goers coming back home after their late night revelry, instead of the other way around.

3. Butt Comfort Comes First

The most important thing you do upon entering a bar is to check if there’s seating available. No comfortable seat, no deal. Waiting in line for toilets or drinks is an absolute no-no, even if the end reward is tickets to watch your favourite band play.

4. Brain Curfew

After 10:30 pm you have to devote a considerable amount of concentration in trying not to yawn in the presence of others.

5. Binge Sleeping, Binge Eating, Binge Watching, But Not Binge Drinking

More than two drinks don’t make you want to have a big night, it just makes you want to pass out.

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It’s okay if you no longer want to behave like the 18-year-old you. You can take the late-twenties social menopause as a space for new ventures instead. You can finally learn to cook, turn your apartment into a home, pursue that hobby you wanted to try out since forever. Maybe you can actually save a little money and a little time for yourself now and throw a party like a real adult. You don’t have to feel sorry for yourself. Maybe you will come around in a bit or maybe you won’t. Keeping yourself company is one thing that you will learn. It probably won’t give you the feeling of being an ‘adult’ but it will make you feel like a human.

Do you think that’s a bad thing?