It’s all romantic touches, slow jams, breathless gasps on TV, but in real life losing your virginity can be a hot mess. Doing the deed the first time around is a big issue and being prepared for the reality of it is always a good thing.
Here are ten things you need to know about doing it that first time:
1. You won’t necessarily bleed your first time
Popping the cherry is such a myth. Research shows that not everyone bleeds the first time round when having sex. Losing your virginity in the strictest term means the breaking of the hymen. This is what causes the bleeding. But it is not true in every case. Bleeding depends on the thickness of the hymen. While some women who have thicker hymen bleed more while losing their virginity there are others who don’t even notice the tear in the hymen. Then there are some women who are born without a hymen so obviously there is no blood there. So, if you don’t bleed too much or if it does bleed like a stab wound, you know that you just broke your hymen from penetration and that it doesn’t require a trip to the emergency room.
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2. It doesn’t have to hurt
Having sex for the first time is an emotional roller coaster but it doesn’t need to be a physically painful one. Penetration causes discomfort especially when particular muscles of the vagina are being used for the first time. This penetration also leads to a break in the hymen but while it may cause a little pain, it shouldn’t be a painful process all throughout. If it pains while having sex after the initial distress, use more lubricant get your sexy on with some more foreplay. Which brings us to point number 3.
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3. Foreplay is essential
Foreplay releases lubricants essential for penetration. Skip the foreplay and you’ll know what it feels to go down a water slide without the water. Lubrication helps in easy penetration which equals less pain which means more fun.
4. Don’t focus too much on the orgasm
Most people describe earth shattering sex with orgasms that left them disoriented which makes everyone want to experience an orgasm with their partner. Instead of focusing on having an orgasm, try and focus on having fun. Talk to your partner, understand what get’s them hot, tell them what gets you hot and have your fun, girl.
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5. Sometimes guys come really really quickly
If you are a guy, actually doing the deed might get you off instantly. Don’t force it off by trying to stall it. Let it happen if it does and concentrate on pleasuring your girl. With the way things usually are first time around, chances are she won’t even notice and will be too busy focusing on her own orgasm.
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6. Erectile Dysfunction is more common than you would think
Yes. It is not reserved for the old. Erectile dysfunction simply means that no matter how much you want it, it ain’t happenin’. This usually happens due to stress or nerves and is quite common during a guy’s first time, especially if they know that they have experienced partners. Try and calm your nerves and just enjoy the moment, luckily it won’t last the night.
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7. You can get pregnant first time around
Sadly, there are no passes or trial runs for first time sex. If it involves a penis ejaculating in the vagina, chances are you will get pregnant. So, before you do the deed, talk it out with your partner. Understand what time of birth control you both want to use and preferably do this before you both are naked.
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8. Always use a condom
Yes, you partner may have opted for a birth control pill, but let’s not forget the fact that it is very easy for people to get STDs (sexually transmitted diseases). Even if you trust your partner to never have had sex before or having been careful in the past, it is highly recommended that you shield yourself from the risk of getting an STD and a condom is the best way to do that.
9. You’re not in a porno
Not everything you see in porn movies is enjoyable, especially if it’s your first time around. Rough sex is enjoyable for some, but before you indulge in thrashing your partner around or getting into acrobatic positions, remember to explore each other’s likes first. That can come later.
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10. They are just as nervous as you
Relax, take a deep breath and remember that there is no right way of having sex for the first time nor is there a right time. Exploring your feelings for one another in the raw set physical form is called sex and your first time is always going to be different from your friend’s or others you’ve talked to. Since there is no set rule book for having sex the first time, think about exploring your feelings and do what you both like to do.
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Losing your virginity is as big a deal as you make it to be. Remember to enjoy yourself and just have fun!